Dramatis Personae
Sir Arthur Hampton
Lord Fitzgerald
Stanly
Willoughby, Sir Arthur's nephew |
Lady Hampton
Miss Fitzgerald
Sophy Hampton
Cloe Willoughby |
The scenes are laid in Lord Fitzgerald's House.
ACT THE FIRST
Scene the first, a Parlour --
enter LORD FITZGERALD & STANLY
STANLY.
Cousin, your servant.
FITZGERALD.
Stanly, good morning to you. I hope you slept
well last night.
STANLY.
Remarkably well, I thank you.
FITZGERALD.
I am afraid you found your Bed too short.
It was bought in my Grandmother's time, who was herself a very short woman
& made a point of suiting all her Beds to her own length, as she never
wished to have any company in the House, on account of an unfortunate impediment
in her speech, which she was sensible of being very disagreable to her
inmates.
STANLY.
Make no more excuses, dear Fitzgerald.
FITZGERALD.
I will not distress you by too much civility
-- I only beg you will consider yourself as much at home as in your Father's
house. Remember, "The more free, the more Wellcome."
[exit FITZGERALD
STANLY.
Amiable Youth!
"Your virtues,
could he imitate
How happy would
be Stanly's fate!"
[exit STANLY
Scene the 2d.
STANLY & MISS FITZGERALD, discovered.
STANLY.
What Company is it you expect to dine with
you to Day, Cousin?
MISS F.
Sir Arthur & Lady Hampton; their Daughter,
Nephew & Neice.
STANLY.
Miss Hampton & her Cousin are both Handsome,
are they not?
MISS F.
Miss Willoughby is extreamly so. Miss Hampton
is a fine Girl, but not equal to her.
STANLY.
Is not your Brother attached to the Latter?
MISS F.
He admires her, I know, but I beleive nothing
more. Indeed I have heard him say that she was the most beautifull, pleasing,
& amiable Girl in the world, & that of all others he should prefer
her for his Wife. But it never went any farther, I'm certain.
STANLY.
And yet my Cousin never says a thing he does
not mean.
MISS F.
Never. From his Cradle he has always been
a strict adherent to Truth.
[Exeunt Severally
End of the First Act.
ACT THE SECOND
Scene the first. The Drawing Room.
Chairs set round in a row. LORD FITZGERALD, MISS FITZGERALD &
STANLY seated.
Enter a Servant.
SERVANT.
Sir Arthur & Lady Hampton. Miss Hampton,
Mr. & Miss Willoughby.
[Exit SERVANT
Enter the Company.
MISS F.
I hope I have the pleasure of seeing your
Ladyship well. Sir Arthur, your servant. Yrs., Mr. Willoughby. Dear Sophy,
Dear Cloe, —
[They pay their Compliments alternately.
Miss F.
Pray be seated.
[They sit
Bless me! there ought to be 8 Chairs &
there are but 6. However, if your Ladyship will but take Sir Arthur in
your Lap, & Sophy my Brother in hers, I beleive we shall do pretty
well.
LADY H.
Oh! with pleasure....
SOPHY.
I beg his Lordship would be seated.
MISS F.
I am really shocked at crouding you in such
a manner, but my Grandmother (who bought all the furniture of this room)
as she had never a very large Party, did not think it necessary to buy
more Chairs than were sufficient for her own family and two
of her particular freinds.
SOPHY.
I beg you will make no apologies. Your Brother
is very light.
STANLY, (aside)
What a cherub is Cloe!
CLOE, (aside)
What a seraph is Stanly!
Enter a Servant.
SERVANT.
Dinner is on table.
[They all rise.
MISS F.
Lady Hampton, Miss Hampton, Miss Willoughby.
STANLY hands CLOE; LORD FITZGERALD, SOPHY; WILLOUGHBY, MISS FITZGERALD;
and SIR ARTHUR, LADY HAMPTON
[Exeunt.
Scene the 2d.
The Dining Parlour.
MISS FITZGERALD at top. LORD FITZGERALD at bottom. Company ranged
on each side. Servants waiting.
CLOE.
I shall trouble Mr. Stanly for a Little of
the fried Cow heel & Onion.
STANLY.
Oh Madam, there is a secret pleasure in helping
so amiable a Lady. —
LADY H.
I assure you, my Lord, Sir Arthur never touches
wine; but Sophy will toss off a bumper I am sure, to oblige your Lordship.
LORD F.
Elder wine or Mead, Miss Hampton?
SOPHY.
If it is equal to you, Sir, I should prefer
some warm ale with a toast and nutmeg.
LORD F.
Two glasses of warmed ale with a toast and
nutmeg.
MISS F.
I am afraid, Mr. Willoughby, you take no care
of yourself. I fear you don't meet with any thing to your liking.
WILLOUGHBY.
Oh! Madam, I can want for nothing while there
are red herrings on table.
LORD F.
Sir Arthur, taste that Tripe. I think you
will not find it amiss.
LADY H.
Sir Arthur never eats Tripe; tis too savoury
for him, you know, my Lord.
MISS F.
Take away the Liver & Crow, & bring
in the suet pudding.
(a short Pause.)
MISS F.
Sir Arthur, shan't I send you a bit of pudding?
LADY H.
Sir Arthur never eats suet pudding, Ma'am.
It is too high a Dish for him.
MISS F.
Will no one allow me the honour of helping
them? Then John, take away the Pudding, & bring the Wine.
SERVANTS take away the things and bring in the Bottles & Glasses.
LORD F.
I wish we had any Desert to offer you. But
my Grandmother in her Lifetime, destroyed the Hothouse in order to build
a receptacle for the Turkies with its materials; & we have never been
able to raise another tolerable one.
LADY H.
I beg you will make no apologies, my Lord.
WILLOUGHBY.
Come Girls, let us circulate the Bottle.
SOPHY.
A very good notion, Cousin; & I will second
it with all my Heart. Stanly, you don't drink.
STANLY.
Madam, I am drinking draughts of Love from
Cloe's eyes.
SOPHY.
That's poor nourishment truly. Come, drink
to her better acquaintance.
[MISS FITZGERALD goes to a Closet & brings out a bottle
MISS F.
This, Ladies & Gentlemen, is some of my
dear Grandmother's own manufacture. She excelled in Gooseberry Wine. Pray
taste it, Lady Hampton
LADY H.
How refreshing it is!
MISS F.
I should think, with your Ladyship's permission,
that Sir Arthur might taste a little of it.
LADY H.
Not for Worlds. Sir Arthur never drinks any
thing so high.
LORD F.
And now my amiable Sophia, condescend to marry
me.
[He takes her hand & leads her to the front
STANLY.
Oh! Cloe, could I but hope you would make
me blessed —
CLOE.
I will.
[They advance.
MISS F.
Since you, Willoughby, are the only one left,
I cannot refuse your earnest solicitations — There is my Hand.
LADY H.
And may you all be Happy!
— FINIS —
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