WISE, FEARLESS, AND FAIR
And now at last it comes all that I had desired, yearned for, sought
after and battled for, all the youthful dreams, so formless and yet so
bright, the brighter yet for their unformed fancying, all their more careful
offspring, shaped by the experience of time and witness, dreams solid and
fashionable, had I but mastery over earth equal to my will and now comes
to my hand, after all these long Ages, the power to make all things
as they should be
Shall I draw back, coward, from my vision, now that after so many seasons
of idle speculation, dream shall now stand forth in truth, have I but courage
equal to my long desire? For I might reign as one mightier than my teacher
but rather than wall out the world I should extend my dominion over all
the earth, and draw all the Peoples into one way of peace and beauty, so
that no wrong, no evil, no act or undoing should mar it, mar them, but
all
should know the joy that once I knew, the timeless Time that I, and but
few now living, yet recall.
Shall not the world be set aright, and light more glorious than the
snows of Mount Oiolossë shall I give forth from my hand to all, so
that all the Children of the One, young and old, they of the Stars and
of the Stones and of the Sun, shall dwell together without fear or division,
and each shall learn from the other, and take joy in the work of another's
hands. And we will heal the harm that has been done, and make the torn
land whole, and the burnt land sweet, and every growing thing that lives
shall flourish and blow and blossom beneath the unstained sky. And cities
shall we build, more fair than towered Tirion, and filled with sweeter
music than the ringing streets of Valmar, and all the arts shall be practiced
there, every craft and skill, and new ones undevised nor dreamt, all
saving the arts of war. For those I shall know alone, and none else shall
need them ever, when I have set the world to rights.
And when one arises as one surely shall to stand and cast back
my gifts to me, and mock me for my deeds and call me liar, and hypocrite,
and tyrant what then? Shall I slay, chisel off this ungrateful
obdurate prominence for casting under stone shall never silence such
a one or shall I bend, rather than prune, as one would bend an
ill-growing shoot ere it grows too stiff, weaving it back amid its fellows
so that it shall not shape awry, a branch that will break under its own
weight, killing the tree from which it springs?
Shall I start the tale anew, run back the thread to the beginning, begin
the dreadful game again, doing great good and worse ill, in the name of
better? Shall I work wrongs, claiming right of service, when in truth I
shall serve but mine own will?
Shall I throw it all away in the seizing, shall I stand madder than
Fëanor and lead all the world into a darker night than ever the Sunless
times ere the rising of the Moon? Shall I name myself Power, and make myself
slave,
until at end I sit in solitary dread, fearing all because all fear me,
waiting for some rival to strike or steal, surrounding myself with lamps
lest shadows hide my Doom?
For such indeed would it come to I see it plain, see myself plain,
my own reflection in the silent Mirror, as though the water were a pool
of shed tears, instead of the shadow of the Dreamer's lake, silver-poured,
holding the traces of the Silver Tree's power fallen like dew from the
distant stars.
What shall I do, with those who refuse my command, either to defy or
to withhold, preferring their own will, when it is not mine? Whether the
swift blast of judgment, or the subtle theft of wit with gentle force:
either shall be cruelty, whether I joy in it or weep, either shall be ruthless
wrong of those who oppose me even when it is wrong they do, no less
even when I do it for their own bettering. Even so did he argue
at the first, that blind Eye that sees only its own reckoning, even so
did he lead our vanity and self-will to slavery, when I had not power to
resist him to master my fellow Elves against their will?
I will not deceive myself it would be gladness to my soul to avenge
myself upon him, and through him upon his Master that is far beyond my
reach, take vengeance daily for grandsire, brothers, cousins, uncles, niece
daughter for all who have slaved beneath the lash or fallen
in blood, in fire, their names forgotten in these mortal days
It is the old lie, is it not, that one nearly the oldest, the whisper
that these lands are ours, forever, as though we made them, ere
the Stars arose, as though all should be changeless, as though what has
passed may be undone, and made as naught; and we that have been robbed
of our birthright, cheated so that a milder folk and a simpler, the more
simply to be led so spoke one that had never yet met mortal! might
be put in our places, should reclaim, reconquer, displace our Followers
before their birth. And so believing did my Kin follow false promise to
death, and slavery, and sorrow, and so was the lie made half-truth, that
the broken lands be left to those who came after, and the dominion pass
from such poor remnants of the Firstborn that remain.
And I might change all this, if I but accept this gift
Shall I exchange myself for my self's desire, and let all that
I am, and have ever been, fade like dew in fire? Shall I forget everything
that I have taught, that I alone remember? Shall I, who have seen folly
and named it, no less than evil, unfearing, fear to be forgotten,
as though the deed should have no worth, the saving hand no strength, unless
the doer be remembered, the doing hailed, the rescued one give gratitude
in voice, and not in gift of living?
Shall I cling in this place, far from the land where I was born, holding
to power, to things of this earth, treasures of the past, yielding nothing,
refusing to give way
even to my offspring our children, unborn,
that may yet be? Shall I forget love, refuse to heed the message of hope
that comes from across the Sea, across the days?
Shall I allow no other Song to be sung, save my own, seeking to silence
all other harmonies, ascribing to myself sole sovereignty of this land?
What other crown need I, save my own?
Or shall I then cease to be Galadriel? |