Mission Statement: {Mission impossible music plays in the background} The mission of this Board is to encourage the goodfic, discourage the bad, share writing and computer tips, help out fellow writers in need, exchange opinions, and to natter on endlessly about everything from Lord of the Rings to apple pie. Mmm . . . pie . . .

     {drool}

     This webpage will self-destruct in thirty seconds.

     {Hides. Several hours pass.} 

     Never mind, then . . .

     {Comes out of hiding.}

     BOOM!

     -_-

     To complete our mission without massively pissing each-other off requires some rules. So . . .

     {Clears throat.}

Hear ye, hear ye! (And all that other medieval mumbo-jumbo those town criers say. Forsooth verily!) We, the PPC-Boarders, in order to form a more perfect Message Board, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the well-being and sanity (or insanity) of all.
 

 The PPC Board Constitution (a.k.a. Da Rules)

1. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. So be nice! Treat everyone else on the board with respect!

 2. Respect other people�s opinions, especially when it comes to controversial issues, like religion, homosexuality and slash, or witchcraft. You don�t have to agree with anyone, of course, and stating your own opinion is encouraged, but no telling other people that their opinion is WRONG. It�s kind of hard for an opinion to be wrong, considering that it�s how that certain individual sees a certain issue. 

3. This sort of goes along with Number 2 . . . No Flames Allowed! (The definition of flame used here is "A verbal attack/insult on an individual.") It�s one thing to say "I don�t agree with your opinion," to a person, but entirely inappropriate to say, "You�re such a flipping idiot for thinking that, you flipping moron!" 

4. Thou shalt maketh your posts legible. Spell correctly and use good grammar to the best of your ability. Mistakes will be forgiven, of course, but it�ll be hard for everyone to understand you and respond to your posts if you go, "OMG! I cant belive taht newst movie is out! Its so gr8!" 

5. Posts should be kept from the G to PG-13 range. Keep it clean people. If you have to say something over the PG-13 level (like if it includes cursing or something) give a warning at least. 

6. Silliness and insanity are welcome here � even encouraged. Feel free to leave your sanity at the door. Most of the Regulars do. 

7. Serious discussion is ALSO welcome here. Odd, ne? 

8. Feel free to shamelessly plug stories and websites to your heart�s content, if you think they�ll be of interest the people on the Board. We�re in dire need of good fanfic and entertainment. Also feel free to post links to badfics. Remember that part of our mission is to help authors improve. Most people on this board post constructive criticism in an attempt to help the authors improve their writing style, so please consider this when you go review someone�s story. See far below for definition of flames and for more details.

9. Newbies should post at least once to introduce themselves (and to receive a bumper sticker from the Official Bumper Sticker Giver or the Deputy Bumper Sticker Giver.) After that, lurking is fine, although lurkers are likely to get BADLY lost because we ramble a lot, so we encourage you to join in and become a regular yourself. There�s bound to be someone here who likes the same stuff you like (since we�re such a diverse group.) And we LIKE new people and fresh meat � er, opinions. Don�t worry, the Regulars� barks are far worse than their bites. (Although we DO bark A LOT, I can tell you.) 

10. If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask. We won't point, laugh, and go "Ha-ha!" when you don�t know something. We'll help.

11. If you have a problem with a fellow PPC Boarder, please try to work it out in private emails. Don�t turn the Board into a free-for-all Flamefest.

12. If you can�t respect others� opinions or things get too heated, please try to keep political/theological arguments to a minimum. Hopefully, that won�t be a problem, though.

13. If a political/theological and/or controversial subject starts out okay, but winds up heated, and starts going out of control, everyone should step back and calm down, and possibly abandon the discussion if it seems that it can�t be continued calmly and civilly.

14. If someone says something that seems offensive, but you�re not sure exactly what they meant, ASK them first, before jumping down their throats. They probably didn�t mean to offend anyone. (If they DID mean to insult people, go ahead and jump down their throats if you like.)

15. There is no rule 15. 

16. Randomness is seldom a bad thing, as long as Da Rules are followed. (For an example, see Rule 15.)

17. Mary Sues are generally despised and though most of the Regulars will (probably) treat you with respect if you like them, this Board is not the best place for you.

18. If you hate Lord of the Rings, this Board is definitely NOT the place for you. You�ll find pretty much everyone here in disagreement with you. 

19. Trollers will be ignored or mocked for entertainment.

20. Remember to have FUN.

 21. "Do not meddle in the affairs of assassins! They are heavily-armed and quick to anger. And not noticeably subtle." 

 We the PPC Boarders, in order to make a LotR-safe Union, must hereby follow all the rules of the PPC Board Pledge of Allegiance:

I do hereby solemnly swear:

 To defend all Lord of the Rings fans and fanatics; the PPC, its writers, and its fans; OFUM, its writer, and its fans; and other LotR-related fanpeople in need or in desperation, as long as I remain an active member of the Board. I   will help fellow PPC and PPC-Boarders thumb their noses at FF.Net when it acts all STUPID. 

(Stupid FF.Net -_-)

 I will respect my fellow PPC-Boarders, despite what weird, obnoxious, or otherwise idiotic shenanigans they may do in their time as members of said Board. (Though if they are breaking rules, or being meanies, I WILL endeavor to set them straight.)

I will follow Da Rules to the best of my ability, unless by consensus majority, said Rule(s) is/are found to be "really, really stupid." 

I hereby devote myself in the protection and support of the Lord of the Rings Plot Continuum, whether that be by helping writers write better stories, reading and recommending good stories, writing good stories of my own, reporting and reviewing bad stories, talking about random Lotr-related stuff, or any other wacky methods. And I pledge to blah blah blah . . . blah blah bla blah . . . bla bla blah bla . . . bla blah bla blah bla bla blah . . . and with     equality and bumper stickers for all!

Here endeth the PPC Board Constitution.

He/she who does not agree with such terms cannot be truly happy on the PPC Board. He/she should therefore renounce any idea of becoming a PPC-Boarder because true PPC-Boarders shall never waver from following these rules. Any errant behavior can and will be dealt with by the Assassins and/or fellow Boarders in a loving but firm manner.

And if that doesn�t work, they'll make your life a living heck! ^__^

Slash-- Some here enjoy it; some don�t. Some don�t care about it; some are morally-opposed to it. However, everyone has a right to an opinion. One thing that is universally disliked is BAD slash, because bad writing of any kind is frowned on by pretty much everybody. However, if your opinion differs concerning the matter, it will be respected, as long as you respect everyone else�s. Don�t expect everyone to agree with you, though, no matter which side you choose . . . 

Mary Sues-- Ditto. Most people here hate Mary Sues, but if you think they�re good stories, or write them, your opinions will be respected if you respect everyone else�s. DEFINITELY don�t expect most people to agree with you, though. 

Flames-- A very touchy issue, as far as the definition goes. The most common definition is the one listed in Da Rules, "A verbal attack/insult on an individual." (Ex: "You suck! You�re an idiot for writing this!") Flames against people on this Board are NOT acceptable. However, outside of the Board is a different matter. MOST PPC-Boarders try to write firm, respectful, constructive reviews for bad stories, even if the author of said story shows attitude or rudeness. Some make the reviews nastier if the author gets nasty, but for the most part, no one starts off with outright flames. What you do is your choice. Just don�t expect everyone on the Board to agree it�s the best method, whatever method you choose. 

Multiple Pennames on the Board � Not only is it incredibly confuzzling � it�s pointless. And starting an argument and arguing both sides is completely juvenile. While we all like juvenility to an extent, we don�t like it THAT much.

Trolls (a.k.a. purposeful badfics or false posts) � Trolls posted on the Board will be ignored or mocked, preferably ignored. As for purposeful badfics . . . don�t waste everyone�s time. Instead of writing a bad story on purpose, purely for the sake of getting bad reviews and seeing how people will react, why not use that time to write a good one? It�s manipulative to write a troll, and when people find out the truth, they WILL NOT be amused. Take it from someone who KNOWS. 

Plagiarism � Lowdown, dirty plagiarists (ESPECIALLY if they're plagiarizing OFUM, Thalia Weaver, or the PPC) will be shot. (Preferably with one of Acacia�s poisoned arrows. Or maybe Jay�s � it might be more painful. Hmm. Decisions, decisions.)

     The Boarders:

     The Assassins:

Jay (who goes on the board by Otik, following the one-pen-named rule.)

     and

~Acacia, licensed assassin of Mary Sues 
 "Do not meddle in the affairs of assassins, for we are heavily-armed and quick to anger. And not noticeably subtle."