To: All Assassination and Reconnaissance Departments 
From: The Sunflower Official

Please find enclosed the Jossverse-specific official list of basic offenses against Canon for which fan-written characters in your departments may be charged with disrupting the Continuum. As all agents are to a certain extent autonomous while in the field, amplification of these rudimentary charges is encouraged as long as it does not violate Canon Protection Initiative policy. It is noted that the list is not exhaustive and is subject to further revision. To nominate a frequent or egregious offense for inclusion on the list, simply contact the Department of Records, Accounting, and Tabulation (DRAT).  Please do not ask for a raise while doing so. 

A. CANON VIOLATIONS

1. Character Disruptions 

    1.1. Causing personality alterations and character ruptures 
    1.2. Causing improbable romantic liaisons between canon characters (e.g., Spike/Giles, Buffy/Joyce, Buffy/Dawn, Willow/Parker, Andrew/Buffy, Giles/Snyder, etc.) 
    1.3. Breaking up a canon romance, especially in favor of an original character 
    1.4. Causing a character to act like a lovestruck fool, especially over an original character 
    1.5. Causing male characters to be misogynistic or chauvinistic; creating "Designated Misogynistic Bastards" (hereafter referred to as "The Riley Rule" in honor of the canon character Riley Finn, who suffers from this violation most frequently)
    1.6. Causing female characters to be antagonistically feminist (For example, Buffy can believe that she is fully capable of being able to do perform any task that a man could do [and, in fact, be able to do a job that only women are called to do] without behaving as if all men are scum who want to destroy or dominate all women.) 
    1.7. Creating gratuitous uncanonical older siblings, younger siblings, twin brothers, twin sisters, cousins, parents, offspring or other relatives of canon characters .
    1.8. Causing a canon member of the Buffyverse or the Angelverse to gratuitously and uncanonically abuse and/or rape his or her child(ren), relatives, friends or subordinates, or to be gratuitously and uncanonically helpless in the face of abuse and/or rape.
    1.9. Otherwise slandering persons, groups, genders, religions, races or species 
    1.10. Stealing lines
    1.11. Causing an original character to join the Scooby Gang or Angel Investigations
    1.12. Causing an original character with special powers to join the Scooby Gang or Angel Investigations to outstrip any and/or all members of the Scooby Gang or Angel Investigations. (The character should not be a better witch than Tara, a better hacker than Willow, a researcher more knowledgeable than Giles, a more brilliant physicist than Fred, a Seer with more foresight than Cordelia, etc.)
    1.13  Compelling straight characters to be unaccountably eager to indulge in homosexual sex, or gay characters to unaccountably turn straight. (Example--having Willow fall in love with Angel while she is in mourning for Tara)

2. Social Disruptions

2.1. Changing the physiology of any canon race, including, but not limited to, the following:
    2.1.1. Having any character be born a vampire
    2.1.2. Making vampires cry tears of blood, as in the Anne Rice canon
    2.1.3. Causing male pregnancy
    2.1.4. Causing a vampire to sire or bear a child (Connor Angel is the only canonical person in the history of the Jossverse to be the child of two vampires, Angel and Darla, and Connor's birth was engineered by a Power That Is.)
    2.1.5. Evincing the concept that there are two ways to create a vampire, and that one turns you into a 'master' vampire and the other turns you into a 'minion' vampire
    2.1.6.  Forcing a male vampire to bite his sexual partner in order to come
    2.1.7. Causing vamps to make a purring sound when they are having sex, content or aroused
    2.1.8. Causing vampiric saliva to assist or speed up the healing process
2.2. Changing the social conventions and structures of a canonical society 
    2.2.1. Importing 'master vampires' from the Anne Rice canon
    2.2.2. Importing the concept of a 'fledgling bond' between a vampire and the vampire who created him/her from the Anne Rice canon
    2.2.3. Having vampires refer to vampires they have sired as 'childe,' 'childer' or 'childre' a la White Wolf Gaming 2.2.4. Forcing arranged marriages or prophesied sexual liaisons
2.3. Creating non-canonical races (e.g., wood nymphs, faeries, unicorns, half-vampires, half-werewolves, half-Slayers, etc.) 
2.4. Confusing family trees (e.g. Buffy as Giles' biological daughter) 
2.5. Causing Jossverse witchcraft to appear to work like real world Wicca beliefs or like the magic of any other continuum (i.e., Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Forgotten Realms, etc.) 
 

3. Environment Disruptions 

3.1. Changing geography 
3.2. Altering the location of key canon plot events 
3.3. Altering history or the known back story of a character, including, but not limited to, the following common offenses:
    3.3.1. Causing Angel to have sex with demons so as not to break the curse (Angel is cursed to lose his soul if he achieves perfect happiness; demons and sex have nothing to do with it)
    3.3.2. Causing Angel to have sex with a character that is not Buffy, achieve perfect happiness and not lose his soul (Buffy isn't the trigger, either; again, perfect happiness is)
    3.3.3. Converting Willow to Christianity, Wicca, paganism or some other religion (Willow has self-identified herself on several occasions as Jewish)
    3.3.4. Renaming Buffy "Elizabeth" (Buffy Anne Summers is her full and legal name)
    3.3.5. Calling Tara "Glinda" (No one has ever called her that)
    3.3.6. Giving Giles multiple personality disorder ("Ripper" is NOT another personality, it's a nickname from his past)
    3.3.4. Deletion or overriding of key canon scenes in a non-AU fic 

B. SPACE-TIME DISTORTIONS

1. Causing time compression or expansion 
    1.1. Temporal-spatial distortion (caused by jumping from one place and time to another without transitional paragraph, line or anything to ease the jump from one time and place to another
    1.2. Causing hundred-year-old or more vampires, demons or other supernatural beings to behave like spoilt human teenagers (Example--Darla, in a Season One Buffy story, angsting about her failure to make the cheerleading squad)
2. Gratuitous use of time portals, interdimensional portals, etc. (i.e., having a vampire father use a time portal to transport his daughter back in time 'to where she would be needed')
    2.1 Using unnecessary tense and person shifts 
3. Causing anachronistic behavior 
    3.1. Causing characters from other dimensions, characters who have little to do with modern humans and characters in the past (i.e., 1753, 1860, 1880, etc.) to use modern slang 
    3.2. Singing (or causing canon characters to sing) modern songs while in the past (i.e., forcing Angel, in the mid-eighteenth century and prior to the time he was turned, to sing a Shania Twain song)
    3.3. Causing characters who have little to do with modern humans and characters in the past to use pop psychology (i.e., having 'Father' Angelus tell Dru in the confessional in 1860 that her visions are arising from sexual repression and an unresolved Electra complex)
4. Bringing knowledge of future episodes or seasons to any given episode or season 
5. Causing events to happen out of canon plotline order 
6. Changing timelines or characters' ages without cause 
7. Causing events to eventuate solely for the benefit of the original character without regard to canon plotlines 

C. TECHNICAL IMPROBABILITIES

    1. Use of bad biology 
        1.1. Employing impossible medical cures 
        1.2. See: altering physiology 
        1.3. Creating non-canonical races (e.g. wood nymphs, faeries, unicorns) 
    2. Use of bad physics 
    3. Use of bad plot devices 
        3.1. Employing dei ex machina 
        3.2. Creating "cute animal friends" or "cute animal friends with attitude (wolves, panthers, etc.)
        3.3. Gratuitous use of magical jewelry 
        3.4. Displaying magical Mary Sue powers 

D. LANGUAGE ABUSE

1. Mangling of the English language 
    1.1. Bad grammar and syntax 
    1.2. Punctuation errors 
    1.3. Spelling errors 
        1.3.1. General spelling errors 
        1.3.2. Errors in spelling of names, AKA "creating more mini-trolls than Miss H can deal with"*
2. Giving original characters inappropriate names (such as quasi-elven or dwarven names like "Moonflower," "Stardancer," "Gimlette," etc.)
    2.1. Giving original historical characters from 1700s Ireland or 1800s England modern names (i.e., Tiffany, Autumn, Brittany, Ashleigh, Sage (girl's first name), Callahan (girl's first name), Logan (girl's first name)and McBrien (girl's first name.)
    2.2. Giving original characters mangled or random gothic, vampiric, demonic, Elvish, etc. names 
    2.3.  Giving original or canon characters names from other fandoms ("Kassandra Sailormoon," "Elisabeth Voldemort," etc.)
3. Causing characters in the past or in dimensions that have little to do with humans to use modern slang or to know about modern life.
4. Causing characters to make incorrect use of archaic speech 
5. Gratuitous tense shifting (e.g. past to present) 
6. Gratuitous point-of-view or person shifting 
7. Employing melodramatics 
8. Causing an original character to have an unbearably beautiful voice 

E. SUBJECTIVE CHARGES

(Note: These charges may not necessarily be officially supported by the Administration if disputed and do not constitute legal cause for assassination on their own; however, they are authorized for use by PPC personnel if sufficient charges have been accumulated under other sections to warrant assassination or incarceration of the subject.) 

1. Annoying PPC agents 
2. Displaying extreme stupidity or causing canon characters to act stupidly 
3. Committing fashion crimes 
4. Employing melodramatics, especially melodramatic death speeches, whether spoken by a character or spoken on their behalf [or, about them] by other characters. (May need to be given posthumously.)
5. Hitting on PPC agents' lust objects 
6. Claiming than the fanfic is "not a Mary-Sue" when it has all the recognized characteristics  of one

NOTES: 

1. Some charges may be listed under more than one section of this document. 
2. This document is in no way an exhaustive list of possible entries for a charge list, but instead encompasses the most frequently used charges which are authorized by PPC Headquarters and will be supported by the Legal Department if dispute arises. 
3. The main and first entry on any charge list for the Department of Mary-Sues is "Being a Mary-Sue." This item is mandatory for inclusion on a DMS charge list, but must be substantiated by other charges in order to be legally recognized.
 

* Yes, there are trolls in the Jossverse.  Anya, the ex-vengeance demon who was engaged to Xander Harris, turned a former boyfriend into one for cheating on her.  This is how she got the job of vengeance demoning in the first place. If you want to see a picture of Olaf the Troll, go to http://www.deadtime.net/olaf/top.jpg

The Jossverse mini-troll, which is analogous to the mini-Balrog, is about two feet high, with green skin, red horns and red eyes.  Its hair color and features tend to resemble that of the character whose name was misspelled. In personality, mini-trolls tend to resemble certain aspects of their character's personality.

Take Spyke, Spiek and Spick, all mini-trolls of Spike.  Spyke tends to be the most belligerent, according to HonorH, while Spiek bears a strong resemblance to Weepy Season Seven Spike, and Spick is the most likely to get picked on by every other mini-troll.