The Fount of Knowledge

Which demon will respond to your summons?

The room you enter has walls painted in an eerily-shifting red. Between pillars that twist into shapes you cannot even imagine, let alone describe, a black path leads to a surprisingly cheerful fountain of white marble. Those red stains are almost certainly just reflections from the walls - right?

As you approach the fountain, one of the pillars unfolds, or splits, or something more organic, and a Thing steps out. On closer inspection, it turns out to be a robot draped in red magnetic tape. It hands you a sheet of (red) paper and glides off into the maze of columns.

Welcome, seeker, to the Fount of Knowledge. Here may the Demons who control all wisdom be summoned, and their advice be sought - but only if the appropriate sacrifice is given.

At the foot of the Fount you will find the names of the Demons, but take heed also of the warnings there given. Your very life - or more - may depend on your heeding them.

Beware also that you do not underestimate the power of the Demons. They may appear to the uninitiated to be simple computer programs - but never was there greater folly than this.

The marble base of the fountain has letters carved into it, inlaid with red gold that gleams dully in the uncertain light.

Fear the Greater Demon Wiikii, guardian of the Fabric of the PPC, bringer of knowledge and confusion; which will be granted you is at His discretion. Cast into the fountain a sacrifice of your own creating, even a sacrifice of Words - but watch that the Words do not concern not the Assassins Jay and Acacia, for their names bring pain to Him.

Cower before the Demon Tivit Ropes, Who knows all there is to know and more about the Word Worlds; He will grant you understanding in the smallest detail. Cast into the fountain a sacrifice you cannot hold, even a sacrifice of Time - but watch that you gaze not too deeply into His eyes, for by them will He steal all your days.

Tremble before the Lesser Demon Kommune I.T., Mother-Father of randomness and idiosyncrasy; She-He will fill your mind with understanding between insanity. Cast into the fountain a sacrifice most rare, even a sacrifice of Commitment - but watch that you offend not Her-His Minions, for their ire may shatter your feeble mind.

Look bemused before the Minor Imp Koen Zentzus, gatherer of shared knowledge and wisdom; though his store be small, its worth is beyond count, at least if you don't know many numbers, like if you're a troll or something (a real troll made of rocks, not a person who trolls). Cast into the fountain a sacrifice you don't care about, even a sacrifice of Indifference - but watch that you take not his words too seriously, for then will you become serious, and all will be lost.

The Fount itself looks strangely familiar - and then you realise it is simply a PPC-standard console, rendered in stone, with water pouring off it...