Elf in the window

AW: How much is that Elf in the window? The one with the forlorn face?
Disclaimer: I decided it was best I do this every once in a while. I don't own LOTR. I just like to daydream about the characters...especially a certain blonde haired elf.

Legolas: (bitterly) And of course, it couldn't ever be my father, oh no.

(sigh) Oh, well!

AW: So, into the hottub?

A/N: I love you all so much! You're all so sweet.

Drew: (author) Your cheques are in the mail.

Thanks for the reviews.

Aragorn: (author) And me holding the fic for ransom had nothing to do with it.

Well, weekend's over. Just wait til Thanksgiving vacation!

AW: (author) I'll be high on deep fried turkey fumes then!

I'll be so bored that I'll be writin' like crazy.

Aragorn: You're already writing like crazy.
(AW snickers.)

Does anyone watch Alias?

Drew: I used to.

Vaughn is NOT suppose to have a girlfriend!

Legolas: Um...
(AW blinks.)

He and Sydney are supposed to be in love!!!

Aragorn: And this relates to Tolkien's books.... how?

Grrr...stupid writers.

Drew: (author) They never listen to me. They should know well enough to read my mind!

Sorry, I get carried over such things...and a new episode won't be for another two weeks!

AW: And ReBoot is forever stuck with a horrible cliffhanger at the end of Season 4. Suck it up.
Legolas: Bitter?
AW: Does it show?

Ah, oh well. Enjoy the story!


"Think you can do it without me, eh? I'd like to see you try. Hope you enjoy seeing yourself die!"

Drew: Is it just me, or is she trying to make this rhyme and seem like bad poerty?
Aragorn: The world may never know.

The voice broke out into a laughter that slowly faded away.

AW: (Stacie, calling after) How are you going to see me try if you don't stick around?!

Stacie sighed. It broke her heart to see Legolas cry over her like that.

Legolas: Which caused a stroke and left her a mindless vegetable for the rest of her natural life.

She couldn't stand being able to see him like that, and not reach out to comfort him.

Legolas: I'm fine. Carry on.

"I love you so much."

Aragorn: (Stacie) I knew it the moment you poked me in the back with your bow and arrow...

For a second she was surprised at her own words, but it was true. She felt more than just infatuated with him.

Drew: Some would say, obsessed even.
AW: Or deranged. I vote deranged.

"You were there for me, wish I could be there for you..."

Legolas: How exactly was I there for her? When she tried to kill herself? I thought she wanted to die.

She whispered as a tear made its way down her cheek. Soon she was drifting off to sleep, if sleep it was.

Drew: Due to finacial cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off.

She smiled as she found herself standing in a beautiful forest.

Aragorn: Suddenly, she was trampled under the feet of many many orcs - that randomly shows up in every fanfiction to kidnap the author's gem - on their way to.... somewhere.

Sunlight danced down among the trees. The wonder smell of pine trees permeated the air.

Aragorn: Wonder smell?
AW: Well, I wonder fic.

She breathed in deep.

Aragorn: The wonder smell filling her lungs with it's wonder goodness.

Serenity was bubbling inside of her.

Legolas: Or gas. I bet it was just gas.

She thought she couldn't be more content when she saw and heard a white stallion ride through the trees. A smile broke across her face.

Drew: And all the king's horseman and all the king's men, couldn't put her face back together again.

"Hello, m'lady!" The rider called out to her as he neared. She laughed.

AW: But he couldn't stop the steed and she was crushed under the weight of the horse.
Legolas: And all was right in the world.

"And hello to you, good sir." The horse pulled up to a stop next to her, and Legolas jumped off.

Aragorn: Using her to cushion his landing.
Drew: Mind the pointy rocks.

He took Stacie's hand placed a gentle kiss upon it.

AW: Was it a carmel Kiss (tm) or just the regular ones?

Her heart immediately lightened even more.

Drew: I think they have medication for that now.

"Uh oh..." She said playfully.
"What's wrong, melanim?"

AW: Warning! Warning! Random elvish sighting! Be on the lookout for more.
Drew: (scottish accent) Grab yer torches and pitchforks.

"I've been told to always run away from boys with that look in their eyes." She grinned wickedly.

Aragorn: (Legolas) I've been trying to get it out for a few days, but it seems to be stuck.

"Uh huh."
"Well, I'm not a boy. I'm an Elf."

(Everyone blinks)
AW: So we can't be both. Just one or the other?
Legolas: ... How do you seperate the two?!

"So you are." She whispered as he pulled her into a kiss.

AW: (Legolas) *mush* Now you have chocolate aaaaaaall over you.
Legolas: They still didn't answer your question.

Fire shot through her veins as their lips met.

Aragorn: Ouch. That must really hurt.

She wrapped her arms around his neck,

Legoals: Choaking me into blissful unconscienceness.

his hands remained softly around her waste. His kiss was gentle and sweet.

AW: Mmmmm... Milk chocolatey.

That couldn't be said for many men in her world. But for now, her attention was totally focused on him.

Legoals: And it burned like an ant under a magifying glass.

Their lips parted for a few seconds for air.

(All take a collective gasp.)

"Promise you'll never leave me?" She asked.
"I promise."

Aragorn: Then they resumed sucking face.
(Legoals shudders.)

"NO! It was too real to be a dream..." Would this torture never end?

Drew: Said the sue along with the readers.

She sighed as she returned her attention to the Elf in the window.

AW: (singing) I do hope that Prince is for sale.

She was so focused on him, that she didn't noticed the pink smoke that drifted down besides her.

Drew: Rendering her unconscience.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" She jumped when she saw the pink vapor. It looked like the smoke that came out of a genie's bottle.

AW: (to self) Resist Jenny in the bottle song... resist.

Except it had eyes and a mouth. Quite odd, really.

Aragorn: You and I have very different definitions of "odd"

"Wish I had a guy like that. Y'know, one that cried for me and all."

Legolas: What are you talking about? Not even she has a guy like that.

It, or she by the sound of its voice, sighed deeply. "My! Where are my manners? My name's Venessa. You're Stacie, right?"

Drew: Venessa, I dub thee "I Dream of Jeanie".

"Why'd you leave him for? You two looked like you made a cute couple."

Legolas: To be a couple, you need to at least court once.

"Who? Legolas? I didn't leave him! That stupid...thing took me away!

AW: (Stacie) You know... with the things and the stuff... with the... things!

Now I can't get back." She answered miserably.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Pity me for I am Sue in a jam.

"Aw, I'm sorry! Yeah, he can be mean like that. He thinks he can read a girl's mind."

Drew: (Jeanie) Silly boy, fics are for kicks!

Venessa sighed. "Hey! Maybe I can help!"
"You can?!"

AW: (Jeanie) I just wiggle my nose and... oh wait.. wrong show.

"Sure! You wanna get back, right?"
"Well, that's easy!

Drew: (Jeanie) Just tap the heels of your shoes three times...

All you gotta do is fall right back into place." Stacie gave her a confusioned look.

Aragorn: (Stacie) I don't really need this anymore.

Venessa sighed at the girl's ignorance.

Legolas: (Jeanie, frustrated) Forget it. You're on your own.

"If you haven't noticed, we're not on solid ground." She looked down and was surprised to find that statement to be truthful.

Drew: (Stacie) Well, golly!

All there really was just...darkness. "See, you're so used to standing on it that you led your mind to believe you actually were.

AW: (Jeanie) Stupid mortal.

All you gotta do is fall over and act like you're fallin' off a cliff! It's easy, really.

AW: Gravity works!

Try it! But before you do..."

Legolas: (Jeanie) Do you know the difference between a parachute and a bagpack?

"I'd like to say it was nice meeting you!"

Aragorn: (Jeanie) But I can't, because it wasn't.

She chimed. "I myself would never wanna go back. My master spoils me and treats me so nice!

AW: Um... I'm not going to ask.

Well, bye Stacie!" She laughed.
"Bye, Venessa." She took a deep breath.

Aragorn: Her lungs filling with wonder?

She envisioned in her mind she was on the edge of a cliff. She jumped off. She screamed as she fell, and fell, and fell.

Legolas: And fell, and fell, and fell, and f-
AW: Shhhht!

Her mind was racing, and her heart was jumping.

Drew: And her spleen was doing the triatholon.

Would this never end?

Legolas: (fingers crossed) Oh please, oh please let it not.

Just as she thought it wouldn't, she came to a thud.

AW: She died.

She felt like she'd been ran over by a truck,

Drew: Was it a Mack truck?
AW: Really, how does one know what it's like to be hit by a truck unless it really happens to them. It's only logic!

and for who knows how many times it had happened to her since she came to Middle Earth, she was once more, knocked unconscious.

Aragorn: How many times has she been unconscience or sleeping?
Legolas: Not counting the times that we wished it?
Aragorn: Yes.
AW: With new uses of technology, we now have the means to keep track. The number please?
(In the corner of the screen the number 4 appears.)
Drew: I hope that number doesnt' get in teh way of me reading. I hate those watermarks on tv stations.