A/N: That dream is just a taste of what is yet to come!

AW: (Scrooge) Oh Spirit,  why did you show me this, if you thought I was past all hope?

Oh, no. PDA! PDA! =)

(All msters gag.)

Heehee! We'll see what happens in the next chapter.

Aragorn: Do we have to?

Where's my armani Elf? =( *sigh* Life isn't fair.

Drew: Welcome to real life.

you only live twice

AW: Yes, let's rip off James Bond now.

A/N: Whoo! Writer's block is gone. Enjoy!

Legolas: I miss Writer's Block.


When Stacie woke up, she felt as though she were someone else.

Drew: She found out that she had switched bodies with her mother.
AW: (Stacie) What day is it? Friday?!

Like someone had just ripped a part out of her.

Aragorn: That doesn't sound pleasant.

It was strange.

AW: (Stacie) Curiouser and curiouser.

She felt like she was 15 again.

Drew: (Stacie) Yay! Wait... now I can't drive. Booo!

Alive with spirit and attitude, not dead and full of lies and deceit.

Legolas: And gas. Don't forget the gas.

"Where am I?" She muttered.

Drew: The Land of Oz, and oh look! Here comes a house out of the sky!

"In the Healing House." She looked up to see Legolas sitting by her side.

Aragorn: Knife raised.
Legolas: Oh poo. You weren't supposed to wake up yet.

"Oh. Sheesh!

AW: Sheesh? Sheesh? She's supposed to be a bad girl assassin and she says "sheesh"?!
Drew: (Stacie) Fiddle-dee-dee, let's go watch afterschool specials!

I'm so freaking bored.

AW: (Evil) Throw me a frickin' bone here!

Where are the Hobbits? I want to have tea with them!"

AW: I'll alert the Mad Hatter.

She looked about excitedly as if she expected them to be hiding around the corners.

Drew: There goes the Sue again, wanting everyone there at her beck and call.

Legolas gave her a confused look.

Legolas: This look certainly has been around, hasn't it?

"Why are you so different today?" She shrugged.

AW: (Stacie) I'm closer than ever to get into your pan-
Legolas: (warning) Would you stop it!

"I feel different. Guess I was just depressed yesterday, that's all. Now it's gone, so I feel better.

Aragorn: (Stacie) I want a puppy!

Got a problem with it?"

Legolas: Yes actually. Now that you mention it.

"No, not at all. But yesterday you were well asleep."

AW: (Legolas, dreamily) And we were free of your whining. It was wonderful.

"Right, whatever.

Drew: (Stacie) Talk to the hand, Elf-boy.
Legolas: Nono... remember, you can be an elf or a boy. Not both.

Now, where are the Hobbits? I wish to have to tea with them."

AW: I think the dormouse has the flu.

"You shall have to wait until the morrow." A sly grin spread across his face. "For tea time has already past."

Drew: Since when is there a designated time for tea and only one time a day?
Legolas: Besides, the Hobbits actually have four equivilants of tea in the afternoon. They are always up for another tea.

"Is that so?"
"Yes, it is."

Legolas: I have foiled your plan! Ah ha!

"Well..." She tapped her fingers idly against the side of her bed.

Aragorn: Urge to kill, rising...

"I am bored, and I refuse to remain so." She looked expectantly at the Elf.

Legolas: What do you want me to do about it?

"Oh? Humans certainly are curious.

Drew: Curious? Most humans, I suppose. But this human? No... demanding more like it.

A hazard to themselves one day-"

AW: (Legolas) I mean... they have what they call "Darwin Awards" for a reason.

"Don't let me get me! I'm a hazard to myself. Don't wanna be my friend no more."

Legolas: Fine by me! Get out of my house.

Stacie laughed. She just had to sing that.

AW and Legolas: (unison) No singing!

"No, I change my mind to odd."

Drew: Even?
AW: Imaginary?

"Well, princie,

(Legolas twtiches.)
Aragorn: (grinning) Princie?

I think you're odd.

Drew: (Stacie) Sucks to your assmar!

Whatcha gonna do about that, huh?"

AW: (Stacie) Sucks to your Auntie!

She had a 'bring-it-on' look on her face.

Drew: You know, you can have that removed now.

He was about to answer when the door swung open.

AW: (british accent) Noooooooobody expects the Spanish Inquision! Our weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Our two weapons are fear and surprise and... I'll come in again.

"Stacie! Thank heavens you are awake, child! We feared your death was close upon you." Gandalf beamed.

Aragorn: Not fear so much as there was joy.

"He was upon me.

AW: (Stacie) And you were there. And you were there. And you, and you...

But I showed him a thing or two

Drew: Bang! Pow! Right in the kisser!

and got him off my back." She made karate motions with her hands.

AW: (falsetto) Uuuwaaaahhh!

"He? You speak of it like it was human or had a name."

Legolas: (Stacie) I named it Sparky.

"Nope. He's not human. He's a really ugly thing, to be honest.

Drew: (British accent) With large, sharp, pointy teeth.

But a friend helped me escape, I guess you could say." She shrugged.

Legolas: (Stacie) She smelt like shoes.

"That is truly amazing! You escaped death?!" Shock spread across the Elf's face.

Aragorn: Like how Sauron's dark clouds spread across the daytime sky?

"Yeah, well, sort of. He wanted me to join 'the dark side'.

Drew: (Sparky) Sue, I am your Father. Let us rule Middle-earth as Fanboy and daughter.

Told him no and he got angry.

Legolas: (Stacie) Then he picked up all of his toys and went home.

Then I was attacked by his little followers.

Everyone: Ni! Ni!

That's how I got bruised so badly. See my arm?

Drew: (singing) See my vest? See my vest? Made with real gorilla chest!

Yep! Oh, and my neck! He did that one himself.

AW: Is this Sue going to breathe any time soon?

Anyways...the rest is all boring crap you wouldn't be interested in hearing."

Legolas: The rest? Try the whole thing.

She had a sudden rush of energy and wanted to get the interview over with.

AW: (Stacie) So? Do I get the job? How many weeks vacation do I get?

"That is where you are wrong!" The wizard exclaimed. "Continue, please."

Drew: No, Gandalf! Shhht!
Legolas: Aii Valar. Here we go.

"No, I really don't feel like it." She said in a sugar coated voice.

AW: (singing) A spoonful of sugar makes the horridness go down.. the horridness go doooooooown.....

It didn't work.

AW: Damn.

"You will continue. Now."

AW: But do we have to pay attention?
Legolas: I don't see why we would have to.

He said sternly. She sighed and began her story from when she passed out at the little meeting.

AW: Frankly, I'd rather run around the theatre.

Needless to say, the two males were more than a little surprised at her story.

Aragorn: She lies! Kill her!

"The dork made my mouth confess my horrible past to everyone. So now I guess you all already know what I am-or was."

(AW gets up out of his chair.)
AW: Screw this. I hate sitting through recounting minutes of a meeting. I already saw this! (takes off doing laps around the theatre)

They nodded gravely. "Well, I was given the option to return my world.

Legolas: I'm going to see if I can discover a washroom. Knowing where it is, is always a good idea. (gets up)

I was showed what was happening. Jennifer, the one person I thought I could trust, turned me in to the authorities.

Drew: I'll have to be careful not to have a lunch review.

They found evidence in my apartment, most likely, that would be proof enough to have me get the death sentance.

Aragorn: I am Sue, hear me whine!

So I decided against going back. It would be pointless."

Drew: Like this plot?

"There is something important I must ask you. Please, now is the time to be serious." Gandalf's face became stern.

AW: (while running) Howard Stern?

"Whether you were here or back in your world, would you kill again...for pleasure or other reasons?"

Aragorn: (Stacie) Yes.
Drew: (Gandalf) Burn her!

The question struck the girl's heart like an arrow.

AW: (running) Note to self to write later- Questions hit like arrows.

It hurt.

Legolas: (voice distant and muffled) And she died of heart attack. The end.
AW: (still running) Side note - Questions hurt sues.

"Three years of countless murders...that can't be changed much or erased from my mind so easily. I have to admit, I enjoyed doing what I did.

Drew: (Gandalf) Burn her!

But, I don't know.

Drew: (Stacie) Call me in a week and I'll let you know.

When I woke up I just felt...different.

Legolas: (Stacie) What does leprosy feel like? Oh! Found the ladies washroom, everyone!

I felt the way I was before my dad died. Happy with nothing to worry about." He nodded.

Drew: Other than acne, boys, boys with acne....

"I would like for you to come to a small meeting." He held up his hand as she started to protest.

AW: (running past) We're going to vote you off the island.

"The only others there shall by the Lord Elrond, Lady Galadriel,

Aragorn: (Gandalf) Bill the pony, Sam,  Figwit...
Drew: (Gandalf) Those two other sues that drop in on us while you were dead, I mean sleeping....

and myself. We believe we have a solution to your dilema.

Legolas: (muffled) You shall be hanged at dawn.

You have nothing to fear."

Legolas: (muffled) Other than the noose.

She shrugged.
"What dilema would that be?"

AW: (running at the back of the theatre, Gandalf) What's your neck size? 16", 16.5"?

"You will find out when you come to the meeting."

Drew: No noose is good noose.

As he had said, a young woman came and prepared a bath for Stacie.

AW: (running past, starting to breathe heavily) Of boiled bleach?

She also layed out a dress and a towel.

Aragorn: Then she set them on fire and cackled gleefully.

Stacie relaxed in the tub, this time she had no wicked memories of her basically killing anyone.

Legolas: (muffled) It was only then, that she noticed the leeches swimming in the bath water.

Her mind did not seem to want to go that way.

Aragorn: It kept veering left.

After she was done bathing, the maid helped her slip into the dress.

Drew: Ooops! *thud*

She walked down the hall, trying hard to feel confident.

AW: (back of the theatre, running) But she failed miserably.

"Please sit down." Elrond told her as she entered the study type of area.

Drew: (Stacie) Woof.

She reluctantly did so.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Do I get a cookie?

"Now, Gandalf has told us what has happened to you.

AW: (walking to his seat) Please let us not have to sit through it again...

We are happy to know that you are safe."

Legolas: (muffled) Ha! Speak for youself! Found the gentleman's washroom!

"Your eyes speak much about yourself, child." Galadriel spoke.

AW: (sitting down, Galadriel) How /is/ your goldfish?

"You feel as if a great burden has been lifted off your shoulders, perhaps?"

Aragorn: Or a monkey named Merv?

"Somewhat." She nodded.
"A pressing matter needs to be discussed, and I shall get right to the point." Gandalf said.

Drew: Besides the one on Stacie's head?
(AW giggles.)

He turned his attention to Stacie. "You see, evil is what brought you here.

AW: (Gump) Mah mamma always said, evil iz az evil does...

It still lingers about.

Aragorn: Sue be thine name!

It will not leave until it has you completely, my dear."

Drew: All wrapped up like a sue burrito.

Stacie leaned back in her chair and shook her head.

AW: Causing her to lean too far back and promptly fell out of her chair.

She was thoroughly annoyed.

Legolas: (Stacie) Lousy carpentry skills.

"I shall make it go away, then." She said firmly.

Drew: (Stacie) Now that I have solved everything and have world peace, I'm going to Disney Land!

"That cannot be done so easily here.

AW: (Gandalf) They have good lawyers.

You see, the more it waits the more it grows.

AW: So, evil is just a giant couch potato?

Not only does it danger you, but as well as anyone else.

Aragorn: (Gandalf) Therefore you are banished to Morder. There isn't much there anymore, but makes me feel better at least.

If it stays and grows, it may become worse than Sauron.

Legolas: Ah, so Morgoth come back to haunt us?
AW: Never a dull, evil-less moment in Middle-earth, is there?

It must leave."

Drew: Evil, go home, go home, go home!
AW: (Evil) I don't have to take this.... I'm going home!

"And how do you intend to do that? You just said it couldn't be done easily." She said.

AW: (The Lobe) With clowns! Everyone loves clowns!!

"There is a way. If you went back to your world, it wouldn't be able to attack you in the same way it did here.

Legolas: It will attack more with water balloons.

It could not take your spirit away from your body and make you join its forces."

Drew: I bet Darth Vader could, though.

"But if I go back to my world I'm as good as dead!" She protested.

(Everyone cheers.)

"That is where you are wrong." Elrond said.

AW: (Elrond, rhythmically) I am right and you are wrong and I'm going to sing my 'I am right song'

"First off, let me explain something to you.

Aragorn: (Elrond) You. Are. Evil. Got it?

We have found a way to open a portal to your world.

AW: (Elrond) We call it a 'Stargate'. Pretty original, eh?

But it shall take us at least a month to do so with our powers.

Drew: But with their power rings combined...
AW: (frowning) Captain Planet scares me.

Now, we have found that we can send you back in time.

AW: (singing) It's just a jump to the left, and a step to the riiiiiiiiiiiiiight....

We have an offer that none has ever had before.

Drew: (husky voice) An offer that you cannot refuse....

None like what is about to be suggested. A second chance."
"A second chance?" Confusion swam through her.

AW: I think it was doing the butterfly stroke.

"Yes. We can send you back to when you were 16, right after your father's death.

Aragorn: (Stacie) No... the acne!

That's as far as we can go, I fear.

Legolas: I fear too, but for different reasons.

But that is the same day that Jennifer will offer the lifestyle that shall ruin all. We are giving a second chance to right your wrongs.

Drew: (Elrond) And go to the prom! Won't that be exciting!

The murders that you did will be as they never happened if you take it. Will you accept?"

Drew: (Felps) This message will now self destruct. Have a nice day.

Her eyes widened.
"Yes, of course!"

AW: (giggly) Thanks, Charlie!
Drew: Oh, don't forget to write down your Sue observation from before.
AW: Right. Thanks for reminding me. (jots down) Questions hit like arrows and hurt. (sitting up) Next!