That dream is just a taste of what is yet to come!
(Scrooge) Oh Spirit, why did you show me this, if you thought
I was past all hope?
no. PDA! PDA! =)
We'll see what happens in the next chapter.
Do we have to?
my armani Elf? =( *sigh* Life isn't fair.
Welcome to real life.
only live twice
Yes, let's rip off James Bond now.
Whoo! Writer's block is gone. Enjoy!
I miss Writer's Block.
Stacie woke up, she felt as though she were someone else.
She found out that she had switched bodies with her mother.
(Stacie) What day is it? Friday?!
someone had just ripped a part out of her.
That doesn't sound pleasant.
(Stacie) Curiouser and curiouser.
felt like she was 15 again.
(Stacie) Yay! Wait... now I can't drive. Booo!
with spirit and attitude, not dead and full of lies and deceit.
And gas. Don't forget the gas.
am I?" She muttered.
The Land of Oz, and oh look! Here comes a house out of the sky!
the Healing House." She looked up to see Legolas sitting by her
Oh poo. You weren't supposed to wake up yet.
Sheesh? Sheesh? She's supposed to be a bad girl assassin and she
(Stacie) Fiddle-dee-dee, let's go watch afterschool specials!
so freaking bored.
(Evil) Throw me a frickin' bone here!
are the Hobbits? I want to have tea with them!"
I'll alert the Mad Hatter.
looked about excitedly as if she expected them to be hiding around
There goes the Sue again, wanting everyone there at her beck and
gave her a confused look.
This look certainly has been around, hasn't it?
are you so different today?" She shrugged.
(Stacie) I'm closer than ever to get into your pan-
(warning) Would you stop it!
feel different. Guess I was just depressed yesterday, that's all.
Now it's gone, so I feel better.
(Stacie) I want a puppy!
a problem with it?"
Yes actually. Now that you mention it.
not at all. But yesterday you were well asleep."
(Legolas, dreamily) And we were free of your whining. It was
(Stacie) Talk to the hand, Elf-boy.
Nono... remember, you can be an elf or
a boy. Not both.
where are the Hobbits? I wish to have to tea with them."
I think the dormouse has the flu.
shall have to wait until the morrow." A sly grin spread across his
face. "For tea time has already past."
Since when is there a designated time for tea and only one time a
Besides, the Hobbits actually have four equivilants of tea in
the afternoon. They are always up for another tea.
I have foiled your plan! Ah ha!
She tapped her fingers idly against the side of her bed.
Urge to kill, rising...
am bored, and I refuse to remain so." She looked expectantly at the
What do you want me to do
Humans certainly are curious.
Curious? Most humans, I suppose. But this human? No... demanding
more like it.
hazard to themselves one day-"
(Legolas) I mean... they have what they call "Darwin Awards" for a
let me get me! I'm a hazard to myself. Don't wanna be my friend
Fine by me! Get out of my house.
laughed. She just had to sing that.
and Legolas: (unison) No singing!
I change my mind to odd."
think you're odd.
(Stacie) Sucks to your assmar!
gonna do about that, huh?"
(Stacie) Sucks to your Auntie!
had a 'bring-it-on' look on her face.
You know, you can have that removed now.
was about to answer when
the door swung open.
(british accent) Noooooooobody
expects the Spanish Inquision! Our
weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Our two weapons are fear and
surprise and... I'll come in again.
Thank heavens you are awake, child! We feared your death was
close upon you." Gandalf beamed.
Not fear so much as there was joy.
was upon me.
(Stacie) And you were there. And you were there. And you, and you...
I showed him a thing or two
Bang! Pow! Right in the kisser!
got him off my
back." She made karate motions with her hands.
You speak of it like it was human or had a name."
(Stacie) I named it Sparky.
He's not human. He's a really ugly thing, to be honest.
(British accent) With large, sharp, pointy teeth.
friend helped me escape, I guess you could say." She shrugged.
(Stacie) She smelt like shoes.
is truly amazing! You escaped death?!" Shock spread across the
Like how Sauron's dark clouds spread across the daytime sky?
well, sort of. He wanted me to join 'the dark side'.
(Sparky) Sue, I am your Father. Let us rule Middle-earth as
Fanboy and daughter.
and he got angry.
(Stacie) Then he picked up all of his toys and went home.
I was attacked by his little followers.
how I got bruised so badly. See my arm?
(singing) See my vest? See my
vest? Made with real gorilla chest!
Oh, and my neck! He did
that one himself.
Is this Sue going to breathe any time soon?
rest is all boring crap you wouldn't be
interested in hearing."
The rest? Try the whole thing.
had a sudden rush of energy and wanted to
get the interview over with.
(Stacie) So? Do I get the job? How many weeks vacation do I get?
is where you are wrong!" The wizard exclaimed. "Continue, please."
No, Gandalf! Shhht!
Aii Valar. Here we go.
I really don't feel like it." She said in a sugar coated voice.
(singing) A spoonful of sugar
makes the horridness go down.. the
horridness go doooooooown.....
will continue. Now."
But do we have to pay attention?
I don't see why we would have to.
said sternly. She sighed and began her
story from when she passed out at the little meeting.
Frankly, I'd rather run around the theatre.
the two males were more than a little surprised at her story.
She lies! Kill her!
dork made my mouth confess my horrible past to everyone. So now I
guess you all already know what I am-or was."
(AW gets up out of his chair.)
Screw this. I hate sitting through recounting minutes of a meeting.
I already saw this! (takes off doing
laps around the theatre)
"Well, I was given the option to return my world.
I'm going to see if I can discover a washroom. Knowing where
it is, is always a good idea. (gets up)
was showed what was
happening. Jennifer, the one person I thought I could trust, turned me
in to the authorities.
I'll have to be careful not to have a lunch review.
found evidence in my apartment, most
likely, that would be proof enough to have me get the death sentance.
I am Sue, hear me whine!
I decided against going back. It would be pointless."
Like this plot?
is something important I must ask you. Please, now is the time
to be serious." Gandalf's face became stern.
(while running) Howard Stern?
you were here or back in your world, would you kill
again...for pleasure or other reasons?"
(Gandalf) Burn her!
question struck the girl's
heart like an arrow.
(running) Note to self to
write later- Questions hit like arrows.
(voice distant and muffled) And she died of heart attack. The
(still running) Side note - Questions hurt sues.
years of countless murders...that can't be changed much or
erased from my mind so easily. I have to admit, I enjoyed doing what I
(Gandalf) Burn her!
I don't know.
(Stacie) Call me in a week and I'll let you know.
I woke up I just felt...different.
(Stacie) What does leprosy feel like? Oh! Found the ladies washroom,
the way I was before my dad died. Happy with nothing to worry about."
Other than acne, boys, boys with acne....
would like for you to come to a small meeting." He held up his hand
as she started to protest.
(running past) We're going to
vote you off the island.
only others there shall by the Lord
Elrond, Lady Galadriel,
(Gandalf) Bill the pony, Sam, Figwit...
(Gandalf) Those two other sues that drop in on us while you were dead,
I mean sleeping....
myself. We believe we have a solution to
(muffled) You shall be hanged
have nothing to fear."
(muffled) Other than the noose.
dilema would that be?"
(running at the back of the theatre,
Gandalf) What's your neck size? 16", 16.5"?
will find out when you come to the meeting."
No noose is good noose.
he had said, a young woman came and prepared a bath for Stacie.
(running past, starting to breathe
heavily) Of boiled bleach?
also layed out a dress and a towel.
Then she set them on fire and cackled gleefully.
relaxed in the tub, this time she had no wicked memories of her
basically killing anyone.
(muffled) It was only then,
that she noticed the leeches swimming in the bath water.
mind did not seem to want to go that way.
It kept veering left.
she was done bathing, the maid helped her slip into the dress.
walked down the hall, trying hard to feel confident.
(back of the theatre, running)
But she failed miserably.
sit down." Elrond told her as she entered the study type of
reluctantly did so.
(Stacie) Do I get a cookie?
Gandalf has told us what has
happened to you.
(walking to his seat) Please
let us not have to sit through it again...
are happy to know that you are safe."
(muffled) Ha! Speak for
youself! Found the gentleman's washroom!
eyes speak much about yourself, child." Galadriel spoke.
(sitting down, Galadriel) How
/is/ your goldfish?
feel as if a great burden has been lifted off your shoulders, perhaps?"
Or a monkey named Merv?
pressing matter needs to be discussed, and I shall get right to the
point." Gandalf said.
Besides the one on Stacie's head?
turned his attention to Stacie. "You see, evil
is what brought you here.
(Gump) Mah mamma always said, evil iz az evil does...
still lingers about.
Sue be thine name!
will not leave
until it has you completely, my dear."
All wrapped up like a sue burrito.
leaned back in her chair
and shook her head.
Causing her to lean too far back and promptly fell out of her chair.
was thoroughly annoyed.
(Stacie) Lousy carpentry skills.
shall make it go away, then." She said firmly.
(Stacie) Now that I have solved everything and have world peace, I'm
going to Disney Land!
cannot be done so easily here.
(Gandalf) They have good lawyers.
see, the more it waits the
more it grows.
So, evil is just a giant couch potato?
only does it danger you, but as well as anyone else.
(Gandalf) Therefore you are banished to Morder. There isn't much there
anymore, but makes me feel better at least.
it stays and grows, it may become worse than Sauron.
Ah, so Morgoth come back to haunt us?
Never a dull, evil-less moment in Middle-earth, is there?
Evil, go home, go home, go home!
(Evil) I don't have to take this.... I'm going home!
how do you intend to do that? You just said it couldn't be done
easily." She said.
(The Lobe) With clowns! Everyone loves clowns!!
is a way. If you went back to your world, it wouldn't be able to
attack you in the same way it did here.
It will attack more with water balloons.
could not take your spirit
away from your body and make you join its forces."
I bet Darth Vader could, though.
if I go back to my world I'm as good as dead!" She protested.
is where you are wrong." Elrond said.
I am right and you are wrong and I'm going to sing my 'I am right song'
off, let me explain
something to you.
(Elrond) You. Are. Evil. Got it?
have found a way to open a portal to your world.
(Elrond) We call it a 'Stargate'. Pretty original, eh?
it shall take us at least a month to do so with our powers.
But with their power rings combined...
Captain Planet scares me.
have found that we can send you back in time.
(singing) It's just a jump to the left, and a step to the
have an offer that
none has ever had before.
An offer that you cannot refuse....
like what is about to be suggested. A
second chance?" Confusion swam through her.
I think it was doing the butterfly stroke.
We can send you back to when you were 16, right after your
(Stacie) No... the acne!
as far as we can go, I fear.
I fear too, but for different reasons.
that is the
same day that Jennifer will offer the lifestyle that shall ruin all. We
are giving a second chance to right your wrongs.
(Elrond) And go to the prom! Won't that be exciting!
murders that you
did will be as they never happened if you take it. Will you accept?"
(Felps) This message will now self destruct. Have a nice day.
(giggly) Thanks, Charlie!
Drew: Oh, don't
forget to write down your Sue observation from before.
Thanks for reminding me. (jots down)
Questions hit like arrows and hurt. (sitting