(Two elves walk into the theatre and the doors slam behind them with the usual evil muffled cackle from Drew.)

AW: She never gets tired of locking us in here.

Legolas: Everyone needs a hobby, I suppose.

AW: But that's a really sad hobby.

(Legolas shrugs.)

(AW is carrying a large coke and nachos with double cheese. Legolas is carrying a bottle of water and some fruit.)

Legolas: You really need to eat better.

AW: Do not insult the cheese.

(They get to their seats and put down their choice of snackage.)

Legolas: (as he sits down) What do we have today?

AW: (plunks his seat down) The usual Mary Sue, Rivendell bound, and the lovely "plot twists".

Legolas: I'm Sue bait.

AW: Yes, you are. Hit it, Bounce!

I'm With You by Dacey Black

Disclaimer: lotr isn't mine. Allthough I wish it was.

Legolas: (author) I did get an A in english!

AW: For spelling her name correctly, anyway.

A/N: This is my first lotr fic and I hope you like it.

Legolas: Doubt it, but we'll really try.

I worked really hard on this.

AW: (author) Took me a whole hour!

Ive read the books and LUV the movie.

AW: Well, don't feel bad but I h8 your spelling.

Orli is sooooo hott!

Legolas: Quick, get the baking soda!!

Elear is NOT a Mary Sue,

AW: (giggles) 100% garentee that she is!

who ever that is and keep your flames to yourself.

Legolas: (author) For I don't do any form of "well done".

I don't need them.

AW: (author) My closet is already full.

Lyrics are by Avril Lavigne.

AW: Oh please Illuvatar, say it isn't so!

PLZ R&R!!!!!!

Legolas: Done and done.

Summery: Elrohir is really bummed out about his mom leaving to go west.

AW: (Elrohir) She promised me that she's bring me back something.

Will he go as far as to commit suicide?

Legolas: (author) Will my Sue follow suit?

CH1: To sleep, to dream no more....

AW: Butcher of Shakespeare


I'm standing on a bridge

I'm waiting in the dark


AW: You been stood up again!

It had been two months since Celebrian left Rivendell.

Legolas: (Celebrian) I'm outta here! See ya suckers!

It seemed like two decades.

AW: That's what happens when you watch a sundial.

Other times it seemed like yesterday.

Legolas: For crying out loud, make up your mind!

He had stopped sleeping at nights.

Legolas: Elves. Don't. Sleep. Well, not really anyway.

He was barely eating and his father, Elrond looked on with growing concern. Elrohir had been very close to his mother.

Legolas: Much to her annoyance.

They would often go to the gardens in the one of the many courts of Rivendell and just sit and talk about nothing and everything.

AW: (monotone) How exciting.

They would go riding together in the surrounding forests and stay out for hours.

Legolas: Do you suppose we should alert Elrond to this fact?

AW: (Elrond) You two have a curfew of 9:30. If it can't be done before 9:30, then it can wait til tomorrow!

The library was also a favourite spot with Elrohir reading from one of his father's thousands of books

Legolas: (Elrohir, reading the dictionary) shad·dock A tropical southeast Asian tree (Citrus maxima) closely related to the grapefruit and having very large round fruit with thick rinds and coarse-grained pulp. The edible yellow fruit of the shaddock.   shack  A small, crudely built cabin; a shanty. ....

and his mother listening with her eyes closed and a soft breeze blowing through her long blond hair. And now she was gone.

AW: (snorts) What? Did she blow away or something?

Every night, Elrohir's bed was empty and it's owner was found wandering aimlessly around the Last Homely House.

Legolas: Imladris doesn't look that bad!

Starring at the night sky, he would relive the memories of the times he and his mother spent together. Everyday, he could be found in his bed, weeping uncontrollably.

Legolas: (Elrond) What is wrong, son?
AW: (Elrohir, sobbing) Elladan hit me!

Although his mother was still alive, but as far as he was concerned,

AW: She was in Florida! Whoo!

she was dead and he would never see her again.

Legolas: Look who's a gloomy gus...

His heart ached so badly that it felt as if it would break.

AW: Then he died and went to the Halls of Mandos. The end.

One warm afternoon when he was walking through the gardens in a daze when Elrond approached him.

AW: (Elrond) Have you been smoking pot?
Legolas: (Elrohir) No.
AW: (Elrond) Are you on drugs?
Legolas: (Elrohir) No.
AW: (Elrond) You've been in the wine cellar!
Legolas: (Elrohir) No!
AW: (Elrond) Are you lying to me?!
Legolas: (Elrohir) *sigh*

"Elrohir, my utinu, I know you are hurting.

AW: Ahhh! Randomly inserted elvish!
Legolas: (Elrond) But now I hope you see why I tell you to
walk down stairs...

I, myself, am missing my dear Celebrian dearly,

AW: (Elrond) But my aim is improving.
Legolas: (snort) Don't let the Elven Lord hear you say that.

but now she is safe any harm and I take comfort in that."

AW: (Elrond) She kept on using my razors to shave her legs!

"Uma, atar.

(AW twitches)

I understand that," his son answered without turning his head.

AW: (creepy voice) They're heeeeeeeeeeere......

"But... what was done to her.

AW: (Elrohir) That perminate was horrible!

What she went through.

Legoas: (Elrohir) She hates Twister!

I should have been able to do something, to protect her."

AW: (Elrohir) Like a can of mace or something...

He was close to crying again.

Legolas: (Elrohir, whining) It's not fair!

"There was nothing that you or I could have done. How were we to know that your mother would be attacked?" Elrond put a reassuring hand on his son's shoulder.

AW: (Elrond) Now, with that said.... TAG!

"You actually saved your mother from the orcs. You should be proud of both you and Elladan.

Legolas: (Elrond) Eru knows I'm not.

I mended her body after the attack, but I could not mend her mind and thoughts. It is better this way."

AW: (Elrond) Your mom is now mentally deranged. Let's have a party!

Elrohir angrily moved out of his father's reach and glared at him.

AW: (Elrohir) You can't tell me what to do! You're not my fathe- .. oh wait...

"How can you say that it is better this way? You did not see what they were doing to her when we arrived!"

Legolas: (Orcs) Makeover!

Unshed tears were now welling up. "She was begging for death!!"

AW: (Celebrian) Not blue eyeshadow! Nooo!

A lump formed in Elrond's throat as he remembered the state his wife was in when she was brought to him.

Legolas: (Elrond) >Hack< Oh... hairball.

She had received a very grievous wound that had been poisoned, but thankfully, he had been able to tend to it.

AW: (Elrond) *poke* Does this hurt?
Leoglas: (Celebrian, through grit teeth) I know elves don't have divorce, but you're pushing it Half-elf.

"I know that it is painful, but we must go on."

AW: (singing) Good-bye is the hardest word....!

"You're just going to forget mother!" Elrohir shouted.

Legolas: (Elrond) You bet! Now, bring on the single women! Rwor!

"That is what you are planning on doing! I will never forgive you, atar! Never!"

AW: (Elrohir) Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever....

With that, the young, dark haired elf ran down the steps and into the surrounding wood that encased Imladris.

Legolas: Sobbing like a sissy.
AW: (Elrond) And there he goes, tripping again. I'll get the medical kit.

Lord Elrond looked after the disappearing figure of his son and sighed.

AW: (Elrond) Stupid child. Can't believe I'm related to him.

::Dear Elrohir, how little you know of the love between two elves. I will never forget my Celebrian,

Legolas: (Elrond) She stamped a reminder on my forehead.

 for I shall see her someday. One day I hope you will understand.::

AW: (Elrohir, singing) Someday my prince will come.
Legolas: Stop that. That's wrong.


I thought that you'd be here by now

AW: Already told you, Avril. You've been stood up.

There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound


Legolas: I thought you just said there was rain...

That night, it rained hard upon the House of Elrond.

Legolas: Is it just me, or is this song fitting with this fic too well?

All but one were inside dry and comfortable. Elrohir sat on the small bridge over the trickling brook.

AW: (Elrohir) Pity me, for I angst!

His dark hair and clothes were plastered against his slim figure and dripped down to join the minuscule river.

AW: (singing) Drip drip drop little April showers....

He had tried to talk to Elladan, but he was on father's side, so there was no reasoning with him.

Legolas: (Elrohir) ANGST!

He was all alone.

AW: (Elrohir, singing) On my oooooooooown....
Legolas: You are singing too much.
(AW grins)

Now more than ever. No one could completely understand what he was going through.

AW: Angst is so thick, you can stand on it...

Arwen was in Lothlórien now,

Legolas: (Elrohir, darkly) The goody-two-shoes.

and though there were elves in every corner of Imladris, there was no one for the son of Elrond to talk to. To confide in.

AW: I think I'm going to hurl.

He looked down at the small dagger that he held in his hands.

AW: (Elrohir) Is this a dagger I see before me?

He turned it over and over in his rough warrior fingers. The delicate carving of the blade and handle showed the care that had gone into its making.

Legolas: (Elrohir) It is so lovely, I could just kill myself.

It was beautiful how it reflected the moonlight and the rain glistened along the blade.

Legolas: (Elrohir) I stab at thee... I mean, me. I stab at me....!

::It would be so easy to just slit my wrists:: he thought to himself.

AW: No! Go Suppuku! The death of a warrior!

::No one will probably miss me until morning, at the earliest.:: He looked up at the clouds. ::Father would be sorry when I am gone.::

(AW makes gagging noises.)


Isn't anyone tryin to find me?

Legolas: (deadpan) No.

Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life

AW: 42.


Elrohir shivered.

Legolas: He can sense the Sue approaching.

It wasn't for the cold rain that kept falling upon his shoulders, but from the coldness inside his heart.

AW: (singing) He's a cold hearted snake... look into his eyes...
Legolas: Stop that! Stop that! Don't want any singing!

No one was looking for him. It seemed as if no one knew he was wasn't inside. ::Maybe I should just do it and end my pain.::

AW: (rocking back and forth) Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt?

'Yes, do that.' A thought seemed to encourage his current way of thinking.

Legolas: (facepalms) Now Elrohir seems to have multiple personalities...

'Make them hurt as much as you. Make them feel your pain.'

AW: Why does it hurt?

To feel his pain. Why not? ::But, what would mother think if she heard that I was doing this?::

Legolas: She'd ground you.

'Your mother is gone.'

AW: Merry Christmas!

::But she would be greatly saddened to see me in this state.::

Legolas: You would make your mommy cry!

He looked at the dagger a short while longer, while still debating with himself.

AW: (Elrohir) To be or not to be. That is the question...

Finally, he sheathed the dagger and stood.

AW: (singing) Stand in the place where you beeeeeeeen....
Legolas: Stop that! Stop it!

As he turned to go back to the house, he heard a loud voice in his head.

AW: (voice) I know you can read my thoughts boy. 'Meow meow meow meow meow...'

::I am glad you decided against that. It would have been a loss to the elven kind to lose such a warrior as yourself.::

Legolas: (voice) You big hunk of meat you!

Elrohir spun around, dagger in hand once again

Legolas: (frustrated) Oh, just make up your mind!

and searched to find the origin of the voice.

AW: (annoucing voice) Over seven million years ago....

"Show yourself!" His keen elf eyes scanned the wood and shortly landed on a dark, cloaked figure.

Legolas: (figure) Shhhhhhhhhiiiiiire..... Bagginsssssssssss....

"Who are you?!" He demanded.

Legolas: (figure) Just the waterman.
AW: (Elrohir) Where are your bottles?

to be continued...