(Back in the theatre. AW is sitting by himself, eating a bucket of popcorn and looking a wee bit nervous. In the seat beside him is a pile of Lord of the Rings novels, three movie action figures, and his walkman with an audio tape with a dubbed Lord of the Rings movie soundtrack on it. Legolas walks into the theatre with Gimli beside him. Legolas is explaining all the fun he had in the previous Mst and how Gimli is going to love doing it. Gimli isn't quite sure, but with the cold shoulder he has been receiving from all of the Mary Sue fanfictions, he wants in on the msting.)

Legolas: I assure you, friend, it is an excellent release of bitter feelings of being ignored.
Gimli: (nods) I do hope you are right.
Legolas: (quietly) I wish I knew the feeling.

(They both walk up to AW who's still eating the popcorn and hasn't noticed their arrival. He's still nervously looking at the blank screen and seemingly eating the popcorn automatically. Legolas and Gimli look at each other as they take their seats beside the blue elf.)

Legolas: (looking at AW) Um... Al's Waiter? Are you alright?

(No response.)

Legolas: AW?

(No response.)

(Legolas looks at Gimli, who just shrugs. Legolas puts his hand on AW's shoulder. This makes AW to jump, startled and sending popcorn flying everywhere.)

AW: (finally seeing Legolas, voice a bit quakey) Oh... hi. When did you get here?
Legolas: Just now. I hope we are not late.
AW: (sounding nervous) No. No. Not late. It's alright. (quietly) Delay is alright.
Gimli: (pokes Legolas, whispers) Is he always like this?
Legolas: (whispers back) No. But I have seen him like this before. (normally) So, AW, what do we have this time?
AW: (quietly) Trouble. We've got beeeg trouble. Yup.
Legolas: It surely can not be that bad, ... can it?

(AW throws away his popcorn bucket and grabs Legolas by the lapel.)

Legolas: (taken aback) Why is that?
AW: (sniffs) You remember the last one we did?
Legolas: (nods hesitantly) Yes I do.
AW: (hold on tighter to Legolas' lapel, through grit teeth) This one is a hundred times worse!
Legolas: Oh... then... we don't have to.
AW: (sniffs again) But... I promised Miss Cam that I would.
Gimli: Miss Cam? As in the course co-ordinator at OFUM?
AW: (nods and blows his nose) I'll... I'll do it for Miss Cam. Miss Cam and all fans of OFUM. (swallows) Okay. I can do this.

(AW sits up and composes himself. He takes a deep breath and releases it.)

AW: Welcome readers to my second Lord of the Rings Msting. Today I am joined by my good Msting friend Legolas...

Legolas: (waves) Hello again.

AW: ...and Gimli, son of Gloin.

Gimli: (whispers to Legolas) Who's he talking to?
Legolas: (quietly) Just humour him.

AW: Today we have an ... (voice cracks) interesting (clears throat) story that was again found on fanfiction.net. It was brought to my attention by my good friend Aralanthiriel, and a second later, the great Miss Cam of the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth or better known as OFUM. It appears as though someone enjoyed OFUM so much that they decided to write their own.... as their own. No credit was given to Miss Cam or requested permission for the ideas contained in the work. The author Divana was kicked off of fanfiction.net's author's list and did later apologize for writing the story. And as none of us are as angry as we were when we found out about said story, the insults to the author will be kept to a minimum.

Gimli: (looking around) This is very unsettling. Who is he talking to?!

AW: And on loan from Miss Cam, we have several mini balrogs from OFUM joining us: Brie, the French painting mini-Balrog...

(Brie takes off his beret and bows.)

AW: ...Grimli and Legoals, the wonder duo...

(Grimli and Legoals high five.)

AW: ...and the Valor. They like theatre.

(The eight Valor grin happily... if you could call that happily.)

AW: And with all of that out of the way, on with the... (shudders) fanfiction. I actually snagged all of the info on this story this time along with the story summar-
Gimli: Soooo, what are we doing now exactly?
AW: (turns to Legolas) You didn't tell him what we're doing?
(Legolas smiles sheepishly.)
AW: (rolls his eyes and tosses a large pile of papers stapled together at Gimli) Here's the transcript of our last Mst. Read the first chapter and you should get the idea.
Gimli: (looking at it, unsure) Ooookay...
AW: Let's start before I chicken out again.
Legolas: Agreed.
AW: (calls up to the projection room) Okay Bounce! Load up that html file I gave you.
Bounce: (calling down) Gottya!

1. Traning Time!

Legolas: Traning? Is this a new slang word?
AW: Uh... (grabs a dictionary out of nowhere) Um... (doesn't find an entry) Uh... it means... Traning: verb. 1. to think up original concepts for fanfiction.
Legolas: (glaring) You just made that up, didn't you?
AW: (hangs his head) Yes.
Legolas: (nods) I like it.

Ever wondered what it would be like to train to fight in middle-earth.

Legolas: (sarcastically) Um... noooooooo.

Or to be taught by Aragorn *sigh* or Legolas*bigger sigh*?

Legolas: (to author) I bet I can sigh bigger than you.
AW: I wouldn't doubt it.

Your about to find our

(They wait for the complete sentence.)

By Divana

Legolas: Whoa... did we miss something?
AW: (looks closer) Ahhhh, it's a typo. I think that's suppose to be "You're about to find out".
Legolas: Oh.
AW: (rubs temples) This is going to be one difficult read.

Chapter One: I am not here

AW: (bitterly) Something I wish I was.

Alana cut

AW: The cheese.
(Brie suddenly looks at AW, who doesn't seem to notice.)

another slice of bread of the loaf. It had been a very boring

Legolas: Story.

day. She had spent the day cleaning and writing fanfics.

AW: (monotone) Yes. A full day right there. How did she manage to get it all done?

Which were all finished.

(A chuckle comes from Gimli as he reads the transcript.)

A voice yelled from the loungeroom

AW: (voice) Alana! Have you seen the punctuation anywhere? I don't see them!
Legolas: (to AW) What is a loungeroom?
AW: (snickers) Absolutely no idea.

?Alana Bedtime!? Alanda cursed softly

Legolas: (Alana) I have the stupidest last name in human history!
AW: (Alana) And I don't even know what my first name is!

and went

AW: (cheerfully) To kill herself. The End. Let's go!
Legolas: No.
AW: (to self) Nutbunnies.

upstairs. In 5 mintues she was fast asleep on her

Legolas: Head.


AW: Of nails.

She woke up in the middle of Middle-Earth.

Legolas: And was immediately trampled by orcs.
AW: The end. Now, can we go?
Legolas: (more insistent) No!

In Mirkwood actually.

Legolas: Home, sweet home!

In a school dormitary.

AW: Infested with rats and termites and drunks.

There was a loud thud on the door, which was only just heard over Alana?s screams.

Legolas: Uh... why is she screaming?
AW: She's reading her own work? How should I know?

?Hurry Up! Assembly starts in 5 mintues?.

AW: (sarcasm) Oh yes... I was always one to rush to an assembly at school. They are ever so important.

It took her 3 to get down to the hall fully dressed.

Legolas: I bet she's actually running down the hall trying to pull her pants up.

she took her seat next to a friendly looknig girl.

AW: When in reality, she was a blood sucking vampire bent on world domination!

She had worked it out.

Legolas: It came out to five.

This was all a dream.

AW: With flying monkeys and everything!

Yes that was it.

Legolas: Sure! Why not?

The girl beside her spoke ?You a new first year too? Who do you think will be teaching us.

AW: (correcting) Question mark, not a period.

Not Gandalf,

Legolas: (girl) He's a senile old man.

he runs the place.Aragorn and Legolas taught the second years last year.

AW: (girl) Since I'm only a first year and wasn't here last year, I learned this fact via osmosis! Yey me!

So the new second years are sure the?ll be teaching them.

Legolas: Yes, I think I know him; the all knowing 'The'.

I personally think Boromir.?

Gimli: (girl, muttering) That dead weight.
AW: (laughs, to Gimli) Welcome aboard!

Seeing as Alana didn?t have a clue what this girl was rambling about she just nodded

AW: (Alana, thinking) Just smile and nod, maybe she'll shut up.

?I?m Alana? ?Oh Yeah!

Legolas: (girl) I keep forgetting things... like introductions.
AW: (girl) And periods!

I?m Beverly, just call me Bev? the girl said. The talking in the room suddenly ceased as

Gimli: Everyone stopped talking.

Gandalf walked in ?Good morning Students! I welcome back all students and would like to congradulate our new 1st years for getting into the Offical Middle-Earth Training Academy!

Legolas: (Gandalf) Please prepare yourselves for great pain, like what you put us through!

This is where you will be taught to become just like the People of Middle-Earth.

AW: (Gandalf) Become just like us.
Legolas: (audience, echoing) Just like you.

Eachyear will be asigned two teachers.

AW: Just two teachers for the entire year curriculum? Obviously, the author has never actually been to University.

So here it goes:

?4th years will be taught by... Elrond and Sauron? A few agitated moans ran through the crowd

AW: Personally, I'd love to be taught by Elrond.
Legolas: (shaking his head) No, you wouldn't.
AW: Okay, maybe not love, but I'd enjoy it.
(Legolas shakes his head.)
AW: Fine. I'm sure he's a good teacher anyway.
Legolas: (quietly) You just keep thinking that, then.

?3rd years will be taught by... Merry and Pippen? This time a few cheers were heard

Gimli: By a hobbit and a mini balrog? That surely will be an interesting year.

?2nd years...? All the 2nd years sat up in their seats, waiting to hear the news of their teachers ?will be taught by Boromir and Gollum?

Legolas: Poor Boromir. He always gets the worst deal.
Gimli: Are you forgetting someone? Most authors do too.
Legolas: True friend, but is it not better to be forgotten than to be paired with Gollum?

There were crys of outrage as the 2nd found out Aragorn and Legolas were NOT teaching them

Gimli: (bitterly) Awww... cry us a river....
AW: We'll build you a bridge to jump off of.
(Legolas chuckles quietly.)

?And our new 1st years have the privlage of Legolas and Aragonr being their teachers? The crys of rage were drowned out by the crys of joy ?We are being taught by THE two most gorgeous guys in Middle-Earth? Bev screamed.

(All three sigh.)
AW: This is all from the movie. You know that, right guys?
Legolas: (sounding depressed) Of course. They have hardly seen any other men from Middle Earth, therefore, they think that I am the most attractive. Don't they realize why I am not married yet? My cousins are were the... how do you say it? Maiden Attracters?
AW: I think you're looking for Chick Magnets.
Legolas: Yes, that. Now that the movie comes out, I have hardly had a moment's peace.
Gimli: I wager you are happy with my caves now to hide in?
Legolas: That I am.

Even Alana was more then happy. All the teachers walked into the hall. Aragorn and Legolas were flooded by fangirls immediately.

Gimli: And everyone drowned.

Chapter Two: Ouchies

AW: My pancreas!

Disclaimer: I do not own middle-earth, or Lord Of The Rings, or Aragorn *sinks into chair while crying* or Leggy.

(Gimli looks at Legolas with a grin on his face.)
Gimli: Leggy?
Legolas: If you say that again, you will not see your next one hundredth birthday.
(Gimli says nothing, but still has the grin on his face.)

BUT! *sits up* I do own my Keyboard! *hugs keyboard*

AW: (author) And my mouse, and my CPU and my scanner, and my monitor! Yey me!

And three tickets to LOTR: TTT, the London premiere! MINE!!!!!!!


A/N: Each student shares a .. hut/house with another student.

AW: Since when do universities have huts?

Like they are roommates.

Legolas: (author) Fer sure!

So there are two bedorooms, a bathroom, a study, and a dining room with a always full fridge.

AW: Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. Where do I sign up?

EAch hut was designed for its residents. The elves had at least one mirror in each room, while the hobbit fridges were filled with mushrooms.

Legolas: Mushrooms inside the hut? Not very sanitary. Do you even know what conditions are needed to grow mushrooms?

Each hut also had it's own...backyard. For practice traning

AW: Yes. Much traning is needed in this fic.


Alana poked the brusie on her cheek.

Gimli: What's a brusie?
AW: I'm actually wondering if you have to feed it.

Gandalf had punished all the student for rampaging Legolas and Aragorn.

Legolas: (Alana) Note to self: Never anger a Maia.

So hence forth he had been dubbed Old Grey One.

Gimli: (sarcastically) Oh yes... excellent title for Gandalf. Very original.

Alana had recieved the bruise from being trampled by raging fangirls. Bev, her roommate, has gotten a broken arm. Which had almost healed.

Legolas: Of course, over night healing.
AW: Don't you know? Mirkwood, in the minds of these fangirls, is magical.

Their leassons were due to start next week, and all the new students couldn't wait. She heard a scream of

Gimli: Excruciating pain.
Legolas: (voice) No! Not in there!

joy from the next room. Bev had woken up

AW: (Bev) My arm! What's happened to my arm?! Oh kill me NOW!

"OH MY GOD! I THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM". Yep Bev was awake.

Legolas: Hurray for Bev.

Alana poked the brusie again.

AW: The brusie bit back.

{Bloody trees}.It had all started yesterday morining

AW: Aren't we lucky. We get to see the origin of the brusies!

The two girls had dressed and were sitting at the table considering what they were going to do. "I wanna do something fun Bev!"

Legolas: (Alana) Let's play Uno!
AW: You really liked that game, eh?

"I don't want to get in trouble Al!"

AW: Aw come on! I'll be fun!

"Your no fun Beverly"
"I want to wake up tomorrow Alana"

Gimli: (Bev) Remember the last time, we played with Gandalf's sleeping potion?

And so the argument continued for about an hour until Bev had finally given in

AW: (Alana) Aw, come on!
Gimli: (Bev) No.
AW: (Alana) Please?
Gimli: (Bev) No.
AW: (Alana) With a cherry on top?
Gimli: (Bev) No.
AW: (Alana) I'll be your best friend.
Gimli: (Bev) No.
AW: (Alana) Aw, come on!

"You want to WHAT?!?!".

AW: (Alana) Get into Legolas' pants!
Legolas: Don't start that again!

Alana had just made the suggestion that they go exploring, hopefully around the staff section. Alana really wanted to see Legolas.

Gimli: Naked.
Legolas: Oh, not you too!

"No way!"
"Oh come on Bev! You might see Strider"

Gimli: That man has too many names.

"Please Bev?"

AW: (Alana) With a cherry on top?


Legolas: (Bev) Just let go of my leg!

So that was how their aventurous day began.

AW: Aventurous? *pulls out a dictionary* Maybe advent? Advent n. The liturgical period preceding Christmas, beginning in Western churches on the fourth Sunday before Christmas yadda yadda yadda. Yes, an exciting day of fasting and prayer.

Firstly with the two of them sneaking past the teachers patrolling the area. Easily done.

Legolas: Because as everyone knows, Elves, Rangers and Dark Lords let their guard down when surrounded by the enemy.

They hid in a shrub after almost being caught.

AW: (high pitched british accent) Get out of our shubbery, ni!

When The two

Gimli: Towers.

of them heard laughter, very sweet and melodius laughter.

AW: Was it to the tune of Bach or something?

Bev recieved a very hard nudge in the ribs

Gimli: (Bev) You broke my ribs!

"Oh My God Bev!" Alana hissed "Look Strider!" "Aragorn" "Whatever. Anyway, who's he with? I can't see!".

Legolas: (monotone) The suspense is killing me.

Bev sighed "And you think I can? Some blonde haired dude!" Bev hissed back.

Legolas: (sighs) Oh, who ever could it be?

Which resulted in Aragorn and the blonde haired dude overhearing them. Bev and Alana looked up at the two utterly gorgeous guys looking down at them

AW: (Bev) Oh my go- I can see up Aragorn's nose!

"Uh...We're screwed" Bev mumbled, Alana didn't actually say anything for a good reason.

Gimli: Aragorn had cut out her tongue.

She was speechless, the blode haired dude was actualy

Legolas: Gandalf.


AW: Garn and that was my next guess.
Gimli: It's actually dyed, you know.
Legolas: Shhh!


AW: Yes?

"eep" Alana said in a very small voice. The two of them ran. Fast.

Gimli: Into a tree.

Alana took a look behind her shoulder.

AW: For her little leprechaun.

The two guys were

Legolas: Running in the opposite direction.

laughing. *SMACK* Alana ran straight into a tree.

Gimli: ...
Legolas: (pats him on the shoulder) That's my psychic dwarf.

"Ouch..". She fainted.

AW: Fell down a hill, into a pond and drow-
Legolas: Shh.

"Miss Churchill?" Came a soft and gentle voice from nowhere "Al?"

AW: Yes?

Came the ever more familer voice of Bev. "Not now Bev, I'm having a very nice dream" Alana mumbled

Gimli: (Alana) Starring elves in little white coats...

"Miss Hickson, would you be as kind as to fetch Gandalf?" Came the first voice again. "Yes Sir". Alana decided to open her eyes, she really didn't want to deal with Old Grey One.

Legolas: He's just too good at poker.

Legolas was staring at her. She fainted again.

Gimli: He does have that effect on girls. I honestly don't know why.

**************************End FlashBack**************************

AW: (sings) Let's do the time warp agaaaaaain...

Bev trugded into the loungeroomish room.

(All burst out laughing. AW falls out of his seat.)
AW: (wipes a tear away) Loungeroomish room? That's priceless!

"You are so lucky." She mumbled

Legolas: (Bev) You hit a soft wood tree.

"Why??!! What did miss?!" Came Alana's reply. "Oh nothing, Only the fact that every single girl in the entire Academy is utterly JELOUS of YOU because YOU just happened to faint in the arms of LEGOLAS"

Legolas: Aaaaand I dropped her on her head immiediately after.
AW: (random girl) Legolas gave her a concussion. I want one from him!

Bev sneered "I WHAT?!?!?!?!"

AW: Whoa. ReBoot flash.

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