Al's Waiter
'Cause the Lord of the Mst needed to do something today...
Thu Jun 5 2003 12:57:04 am

I've been feeling very tired as of late (been working hard and just running myself ragged) and I just need to vent... sort of. Msting bug has bit when I read the second paragraph. Hope you enjoy it. ^^


Okay, first of all, I'd like for whoever is reading this - either you hate these movies or you love them.

Legolas: For sure, since if they have never seen the movies, one wouldn't waste their time reading your little "pointers" of the films.

And if you look at the other reviews posted about the both of the "Lord of the Rings" movies, the majority of the reviews are

AW: Written by 13 yr olds raving about how much they loved "Orli" and how he would go so well with chocolate sauce.

highly rated, and I mean highly rated.

Legolas: (nodding) Oh... highly.
AW: Yes...... should I be caring at this point?

Personal opinion--this movie was good, but the first one was better.

Legolas: I was protrayed as the silent type and didn't speak random and seemingly pointless phrases while chasing the Uruk-hai.
AW: Not as silent as Figwit; poor fellow.

The reason I gave this movie a star off was because there were just some things that didn't measure up to "The Fellowship of the Ring."

AW: About... lessee... The Two Towers is two inches taller. I'm sorry Fellowhip, you haven't been eating your veggies lately, have you? *tsk tsk*

First off, what's with the trees?!

Legolas: (reviewer) I mean, are they birch? Elm? Maple? Whaaaat?!?!

Sorry but those trees ruined the movie.

AW: They didn't clean up after themselves. The director wasn't too pleased.

It was just somewhat too fake for my liking.

Legolas: Okay, then you find some talking trees that are real enough for you. No? Then you'll have to settle with CGI; tough kiddie porks.

Secondly, the movie jumped from scene to scene too much.

AW: Well, considering that the book is split into two different sections... it tends to do that.

First it's Aragonn, Legolas (<-very good choice of actor there)

AW: (reviewer) With choc-co-late sauce!
Legolas: Shhht! Enough! Do not give them any ideas!

and that hairy guy chopping of those scary evil guys heads

Legolas: Surely she is not refering to dear Gimli...
AW: Well, she certainly isn't refering to you... unless you have a very good razor.
Legolas: And surely by this time upon seeing both movies that she would know his name. But "Hairy guy"?!
AW: Hey, she can't even at least remember "orc" instead of Uruk-hai; even that would be forgiveable.

and it goes back to the depressing trees.

AW: (confused) Um... sorry? What goes back?

Thirdly, (if that's a word) that dream Aragorn had about Erwin

Legolas: Arwen and Eowyn's love child?
AW: A-parently. *rim shot*

could have easily been cut out of the movie and the movie still would have been and excellent movie,

AW: Okay... I have to agree with her there. I went to the bathroom the second and third time I saw the movie during that scene.

if not better.

AW: Don't see how it would have made it better... other than the fact that the make-up personel know how to make realisitic elf ears, yet don't know how to fill in ear piercing holes.

That's just one scene that just seemed so out of place.

Legolas: Agreed. Elves to not pierce their ears.
AW: Well, Tolkien elves at any rate. (fiddles with his studs)

Fourthly, I liked Frodo better in the first movie because,

AW: (reviewer, whiny) He had more screen time!!!

he was just so full of life and happy throughout "The Fellowship of the Ring."

Legolas: Yes, he was very irritating, wasn't he?

But in "The Two Towers" all Frodo seems to be doing is dazing off into non-la-la land.

AW: Three words for you, honey: Powerful, evil ring. Belongs to Sauron, remember him? Resembles a huge red eye. Needs to invest in some Visine - gets the red out and stuff.
Legolas: Oh, do shut up.

Okay, okay, I have been pointing out the bad parts of the movie, and here comes the four stars of the movie. First, the choice of actors was well picked, and each played their part very well.

AW: Especially Orli and that cute guy that played the ranger and the guy who played Frodo...

Secondly, Golum was the best!! That's all I have to say about him, no more, no less.

Legolas: Not very good with words, are you?

He was the best part of the movie.

AW: *cough*Helm'sDeep*cough*

Thirdly, there was more humour (or what is considered humour in this movie) throughout,

Legolas: You just weren't looking hard enough.
AW: (The Tallest) You should have tried harder!

which sort-of lightened up the movie between all of the gore.

AW: It's called "Comedy relief", it's so people don't kill themselves with sharp pointy knives that burn with the fire of a thousand evils after the movie is over because of depression!

Fourthly, this movie (or I should say both of the "Ring" movies) are one of those movies where once you come out of the theatre,

AW: You gouge your eyes out from the pain of the acting and the plot and it turns out only to be a bad dream and... oh wait... that was 'North'.

you count down the days till it's avalible to rent,

Legolas: Or purchase. Keep your options open.

so you can watch it for the second time and re-live that urge to watch the movie,

Legolas: You watch it and get the urge to watch it?
AW: (announcer) Welcome to the show "Things You Say to Make Yourself Look Dim!"

so you don't have to run the scenes through your head while you're bored.

Legolas: (random viewer) Gee, I want to see mutilated heads and dying elves. *presses mental play button* *happy sigh*

Fifthly, I guess I just love these type of movies,

AW: (reviewer) All two of them.

so that's why I liked them so much.

Legolas: Well, it's good that you liked them, but I really do think that you should meet an Ent and tell him that he looks fake. I do not think he would apreciate it... then again, it might take him a week til he finally gets about to deciding that he wants to clobber you.
AW: Ah... the downside of being an Ent; kinda slow on the uptake. It's obvious that she hasn't read the books, otherwise she'd know about the Ents.
Legolas: And Gimli's name. But then again, this poor girl strikes me as the kind who only watch it to see "my" face.
AW: (pats him on the back) Patience, Friend. Patience. Remember, I'm working on something that will satisfy us both.
Legolas: (smiles) Yes, you are right. .... I would like some peanuts now.
AW: Agreed! Always be on the safe side; keeps Sues away.


Ahhhh... feel much better.

*bows Thank you.

Teeny Tween Two Tower Review by "unknown"
Msted by Al's Waiter
(msted without permisssion)
Msting concept belongs to Best Brains
Legolas and other Lord of the Rings characters belong J. R. R. Tolkien and his kin.

Special Thanks to:
Tweens everywhere