1. And lo, when the Great One had been worshipped in her rightful manner for some time, not all were happy with her just and righteous laws.
2. This was of course very silly of them, for the Great One, GreyLadyBast, is great, and she is the only one who may truly be worshipped.
3. No, really, she is. Don't believe anyone who tells you different. Especially worshippers of the Evil One.
4. Yes, you heard me, the Evil One. The Dark Canine God Kit, He of Less Names than GreyLadyBast. His rules are oppressive and his rituals blasphemous.
5. No, really, it's true. He is seen in the form of a fox, and all know that canines cannot be trusted.
6. And he has few names. Also, his smiting abilities are feeble. He cannot even fry a fish with his feeble sparks.
7. And the Unfaithful, who are no longer of the Temple, shall be reviled by all right-thinking Worshippers of the Great One.
8. No? Why not?
9. Oh, well. We can't break up friendships over such a trivial matter as their worship of the Evil One, can we?
10. No, that wasn't sarcasm. No, really!
11. And the Unfaithful, who are no longer of the Temple, shall not be permitted to attend the Ceremony of the Sacrifice. Unless they promise to be good.
12. All praise GreyLadyBast, for she is Wise and Merciful, and has not smited anyone over this issue today.
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Step Away From The Cupboard